Legend of Zelda: Game Thoughts
by WolfsLegend
Summary: You pop in a Legend of Zelda game and pick up your controller, intent to step in a hero's dusty old shoes once more. Have you ever happened to think of these random thoughts while playing before?
1. Chapter 1

-From Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, in order. If I was Link/Wolf Link, I would think or say these things in these scenes below. I find some of these scenes rather annoying, like having to entertain those bratty kids: Beth, Talo, and Malo and getting yelled at for throwing pumpkins that grow back if you go in a house and walk back out. May add more in the future… may not.-

_Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or the game from Legend of Zelda. Real sayings off of game. _

~Scene: In Ordon Village, Link is searching for rupees. What is more fun than smashing pumpkins for rupees? (I have always wanted to say this to Jaggle, but of course Link does not speak in the game)

Link: (throws a pumpkin at the ground and gets… ONE WHOLE RUPEE!!! Yay!)

Jaggle: Yo! Don't waste food!

Link: (glares up at the ledge Jaggle is standing on) I'm not! It is called "me looking for rupees to buy a stupid slingshot to entertain Beth and your bratty kids!

Jaggle: Yo! Don't waste food!

Link: Just go into a house and come back out and , POOF, there they are again so go bug someone else!

Jaggle: Yo! Don't wast food!

Link: Shut up! No one cares!

~Scene: Link is standing next to Hanch in front of Fado's house with the big tree on top of it.

Hanch: Well hey, 'mornin Link. Got a day off from work today, m'boy?

Link: _(Wait… is Hanch an old woman or a guy? Maybe I should've looked at that script this morning…)_

Hanch: Not me. The wife's been hassling me… Today's the day to restock our store.

Link_: (Oops, I wasn't listening… wait… what is that on his… her… face? Is that a bug or something? Oh! That's a… mustache? You call that a mustache?!)_

Hanch: Look! See that? Up in that tree… you can get a better view by tilting C stick up and then using analog stick to around, just by the way.

Link: _(Why do I need to see it if you are showing me it right now? Seriously. Gosh.)_

Hanch: Yeah, some Ordon bees built themselves a fine nest up there, and I was thinking about knocking it down…

Link: (Walks away)

(later on)

Hanch: (throws a rock at Ordon bees' nest, a cloud of bees flies after him, and he starts screaming and heading for the water)

Link: (rolls eyes)_ (He is not very smart… took me that long to figure it out…)_

~Scene: Link goes in house to see what Rusl left him. There is a chest and Link opens it…

Words type out on screen: (forgot to look at bottom of screen for the right words) You got the **wooden Ordon sword**!

Link: What the crap! How is this piece of tree going to slice a goblin guy dead? Oh yeah, those baddies out there are really going to be afraid of my wooden sword and me. (rolls eyes) They are going to be trembling when I come at them and whack the side of their head with my dinky sword while they bash me tell I bleed to death with their wooden clubs or slice me up with their swords made of METAL or shoot me with a bunch of arrows or fire or ice. Come on! Wooden?! Ooh, so scary and deadly!

~Scene: Talo, Malo, and Beth want Link to show off his sword skills.

Talo: C'mon, teach us how to use a sword!

Link: _(No way!) _Yes.

Talo: Yes!

(scene changes, children and Link are standing in front of a helpless scarecrow… poor scarecrow)

Talo: All right! First off, we wanna see THAT move! The **slice**! Uh… you just swing with B button, right?

Link: _(Why do I always have to be the one entertaining these brats?)_ (presses B button on controller and swings sword at the innocent scarecrow)

Talo: (copies move by swinging a stupid stick) Yeah! A **Vertical Slice**! Was that it? Was it? I've definitely seen you do a horizontal slice before, too. You know, where you just press B button. All right, next!

Beth: Ooh! Ooh! I wanna see that other move, Link! Yeah! The one where you just tilt the analog stick up while pressing L button to lock on and press B button to flex your muscles and… stab!

Link: (makes a disgusted face)

Malo: (mumbles)… Oh please. The **stab**?

Link: _(Ugh!) _(does **stab**)

Beth: Ooh. Link! Just amazing! Since you at it, how about you show us that other move… Y'know, that little twirly thing you do! I love that! What do you call it? A **spin attack**?

Link: _(Twirly thing? Pffffffft!) _

Malo: (continues annoying, but helpful mumbling) Like it is hard to briefly press B button and release it.

Link: (does **spin attack**)

Beth: Ooh, WOW! Thanks Link!

Link: _(Oh gosh I think I am going to throw up. I wish she would stop acting like that and using that gushy voice of hers :P.)_

(After the last attack, Monkey appears, and stupid Talo and his stupid stick go after it)

Link: _(Great… now I have to save the bratty kid. I wonder how life would be like without him… hmmm… maybe I should just let them go run off…mmm… yeah, might as well go get 'em…) _(sigh)

~Scene: Link is going off to save Talo, but has to get a lantern from gatekeeper Coro.

Coro: Whoa! An Ordonian! Hey Guy!

Link: (Dude! Are wearing a diaper?!)

Coro: Listen, I'm not sure you should be wandering around the woods without a lantern. Just because it is daylight doesn't mean it is safe.

Link: (No seriously… are you wearing a diaper? And what is with the bird nest in your head?)

~Scene: After Link speaks with Coro and gets the lantern, he heads back to where he left

Epona and is about to walk into a cave when a Deku Baba pops up.

Link: (changes into a fighting stance and presses L button to lock on) Fear me and my wooden sword evildoer!

Deku Baba: (sways back and forth and drools purplish blood and swings its tough head at Link and knocks him over)

Link: Ow. I'm okay! (stands back up and jumps at the evildoer)

Deku Baba: (repeats attack)

Link: Ow… again… okay… seriously, you gotta fear my wooden sword. I shall spill your blood on this ground I am standing on with my scary-deadly wooden blade… made of… well wood.

~Scene: Link is in the cave with his lantern and scary wooden sword out. He burns down a giant spider web and continues moving forward. He walks right up to a rat chewing on a skull.

Link: (screams like a little girl) Ah! A rat! Somebody kill it kill it kill it!!!

Rat: (snarls and bites Link)

Link: (swings sword around him like a mad man) Die die die die die die die die die!!!

(a few minutes later and Link is still swinging his sword down at the… dead rat, still screaming, "Die die die die die die die die die!!!" Gee… what a hero)

~Scene: Ilia is admiring Epona while Link speaks to Mayor Bo. She gets mad at Link because Epona got a scratch.

Link: Oh come on Ilia! You can barely see it and Epona can still stand and run and jump fences! You act like she is going to die or something.

Ilia: (I imagine she would slap him if he said that…) _(Jerk!)_ (SLAP)

~Scene: Colin and Link are going to go see Ilia, but Talo and Malo are in the way. Talo wants Link's sword.

Talo: Oh, hey, neat! Link! Lemme borrow that wooden sword! If I'd had that wooden sword yesterday, I could've handled it all alone, definitely! C'mon! Let me borrow that wooden sword right now!

Link: _(Why so I can save you AGAIN? Or so you can go and kill someone by accident or do something stupid… like… uh… poke your eye out?) _Sorry, kid.

Talo: What?! Why not? It's OK! Just lemme borrow it! Look, we're never gonna let you leave here until you tell us we can borrow it, Link! Come on, be a pal, Link! I'll take real good care of it, so lemme borrow your wooden sowrd!

Link: _(Hmmm… let me think… NO! I could care less if you do not let me pass. I will just fire my slingshot at you and see you duck like a baby and Malo gets his head jerked back.)_ Sorry, but no.

Talo: What?! Why not? Aw, I thought for sure you were gonna let me borrow it.

Link: _(Crybaby!)_

Talo: I'll be real careful when I use it, so c'mon! Lemme borrow your wooden sword!

Link: _(What's the word I am looking for… oh yeah… no!)_ Sorry but, no.

Talo: Gee, I thought for sure you'd lemme borrow it this time. Well, I guess neither of us are going anywhere. I'll be real careful when I use it, so c'mon! Lemme borrow your wooden sword!

Link: _(Fine, but if you do something stupid, not my problem)_ I understand. OK. (hands dinky wooden sword to Talo)

Talo: Whoa! YESSS! (starts dancing like a moron for a few seconds and then stops and looks at Malo) With this thing… I'll show 'em!

Link: _(Show 'em what, what a brat you are or what a crybaby you are? Yeah, I'm sure they will be sooooo scared of THAT sword.)_

~Scene: Ordon Spring, Link is in wolf form for the very first time.

Wolf Link: (runs through the forest, but it stopped by a voice that talks in pretty gold letters)

Ordona: Wait… Come… to my spring…

Wolf Link: (walks to spring slowly and looks around) _(Okay… I must be hearing things… water doesn't talk… creeeeepy…)_

Ordona: You have… been transformed… by the power of shadow…)

Wolf Link: _(Huh? Power of what?)_

Ordona: Come… to me…

Wolf Link: _(What if I do not want to cooome to yooou?)_ (walks a few steps forward and strange glowing rock thingies fall from the sky and create a red wall around Wolf Link)

Ordona: Beware… A shadow being… it approaches.

(creepy portal appears in sky and glows red. A butt-ugly monster falls out and lunges at Wolf Link)

Wolf Link: (bites it like a rabid wolf and it falls to the ground and vanishes in pretty, black, tiny squares and the red portal turns green)

(scene darkens a bit and rocks begin to glow green. A ripple forms from a water droplet and a bright light appears, forming into a giant scary glowing goat.)

Wolf Link: (What the!?)

Ordona: (Talks while boring music plays in background) O brave youth… I am one of the **four light spirits** that protect Hyrule at the behest of the gods, I am Ordona.

Wolf Link: _(Ooh! Shiny! Do all of the whatever spirits thingies look like a demented goat too?)_

Ordona: The black beast you slayed was a **shadow being**. It had come to seize the **power of light** I wield.

Wolf Link: _(Uh… shiny goat thing, could you hurry this up and cut to the chase? I have stuff to do you know… like go places and see people.)_

Ordona: My brethren in Hyrule have already had their light stolen by these beasts. The blight…

Wolf Link: (Okay… you lost me, I wasn't paying attention. Something about light.)

~~Scene: (always hate this kind of stuff) Some place where there is a bunch of monsters. Link kills them all and heads to a fancy looking chest.

Words: You got a blue rupee (5)! (woohoo!)

Link: All that for a stupid blue rupee?! I just lost two whole hearts for a dumb rupee that I could've found in a pumpkin or in the grass?!

~~Scene: Cave of Ordeals or wherever else there is Redeads

Redead: (slowly walks over to Link)

Link: Ah! Creepy dead guy!

Redead: (shrieks like a banshee and swings at Link, knocking him over)

Words: Game over

Link: Aw man! Come on! Well… at least they just shriek and hit you and do not scream, climb on you, and bite you in Wind Waker and Ocarina of Time… which is just plain creepy…

**-Sorry if I have offended anyone. Please review and answer this, would you think these things in these scenes? If you would think something else in the scenes… what would it be?-**


	2. Chapter 2

**-In order again. Thanks for the first two reviews, glad you thought a few of the things I put down. Now most of these is not during the game, but are thing a friend of mine and myself thought up while talking over the phone, please enjoy because you are about to step into our little world… Eee hee!-**

~Scene: After rescuing Talo from the Bokoblins. He stopped you near the first cave you entered before.

Talo: If you hadn't come, Link… Gee, me and that monkey would've gotten eaten, probably!

Link: (I think I would like you better of that way… hold on a sec and I will go make another wooden cage…)

Talo: She's actually a pretty nice gal, that monkey… She tried to protect me, so we got captured together.

Link: (Ain't that just so darn romantic? But come on seriously help me find some wood! I regret saving you now!)

Talo: Um, Link…You're not gonna mention this to my dad, are you?

Link: (I will just lie I guess. Maybe the stupid kid will actually learn something, like… he shouldn't want to play with my swords! Stupid kid.)

Talo: He's always telling me to never, EVER go into the forest, 'cause he says it's dangerous… So you really can't tell him Really! You have to promise!

Link: (Yeah whatever just hurry up so the next scene can come up.)

~Scene: When you are in the cell as Wolf Link.

Wolf Link: (What the crap?! Where am I?!) *He glares around the cell, feeling all fluffy because of the fur* (Dang it! My life sucks!!! First my uncle or grandfather or whatever he is to me dies, second my happy little life as a forest elf screws up and the Deku Tree dies and I fall I fell asleep through seven stinking years to find that stupid Ganondorf stole the Triforce of Power and took over this stupid world, thirdly after being sent back through time I get mugged by some freak in a mask with two stupid fairies and I fall down a dumb hole and get turned into a ugly looking plant thingy, fourth Zelda who can't protect herself from anything thing gets turned to stone and then some purple dude opens a box that unleashes creepy monsters and then I had to collect four elements just to get the Four Sword back together, fifth my not-really sister gets kidnapped and I have to go with some stupid pirates and save random people and save the world, and now I have to save the stupid stinking world again. Why do I always have to be the guy who saves this stupid pathetic piece of land?)

(Scene changes, Midna talks to Wolf Link)

Midna: Eat bread! *talks in weird dialect*

Wolf Link: (What?! Why would I want to eat bread?!)

Midna: Brad Pitt's gay!!!

Wolf Link: (What?! Now you are really not making since! Why do I always end up with these stupid sidekicks? First Navi and now this… whatever she is.)

~Scene: Link is talking to Renado.

Link: (Okay, is this dude or whatever a girl… or a guy? His hair is braided and he looks like a girl… that robe makes him look more like a girl.)

Renado: *says something, but Link doesn't pay attention*

(Luda shows up)

Link: (Oh my gosh! What is with this family? That kid looks like a boy!!!)

~Scene: Link is standing in front of the Goron Tribe in Death Mountain.

Link: (Oh my gosh! It's a whole tribe of naked fat guys! Wait… there's no women… so… how do they give birth?) *looks at a Goron guy* (Eeew! That guy needs to wear bra or something!)

~~Scene: Link fights a gazillion bad guys and picks up a rupee.

Link: All right!!! I gotta rupee!!! Awesome!!!

Midna: Oh my gosh! You are getting excited overa stupid rupee?!

Link: *turns to face Midna* Well uh yeah! Its all shiny and prettiful!!!

Midna: So!

Link: AND I can buy crap with it!!!

Midna: What kind of Hero of Hyrule and Twilight ARE YOU?!

Link: The kind that likes shiny and prettiful rupees! See how it glistens like a million diamonds of beauty? *looks dreamily at rupee*

Midna: *slaps forehead* I'm saving Hyrule and the Twilight Realm with an idiot.

~~Scene: Link is talking to Midna about Princess Zelda.

Link: At least in the other games she did something! And this one she is just sitting and doing nothing!

Midna:

~~Scene: Link and Midna are in the middle of Castle Town, people are staring at them.

Link: What are you all looking at?

Man: Well… aren't you _with_ Zelda and not Midna?

Link: How can people think we are supposed to be together?! We barely even know each other!

Midna: Wait… your two timing me?!

Link: What?! No! I just said- *gets slapped in the face by Midna*

Midna: Two timing jerk!!!

~~Scene: Midna is floating in front of Link while Link stares at the sky.

Midna: Eee hee!

Link: *jumps* What the crap did you do that for?!

Midna: *gives a confused look* What are you talking about?

Link: Your giggling is creeping me out!!!

Midna: Eee hee?

Link: Ah! Stop it! Its creepy!

Minda: *gives him one of her famous smiles* Eee hee hee! Eee hee!

Link: Ah!!!! *bashes head against a wall and bleeds to death*

(at least her giggles are better than Navi's Hey Listens!)

Navi: Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey! Listen!

Link: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! *runs to the edge of a cliff and jumps off*

Navi: *tear drop* Am I that annoying? :'(

-I prefer Midna than Navi. If you had thought these things before or something near them then please share with me and please review, it's the least you could do :)- 


	3. Chapter 3

**-Viola… Eureka…. Goroooo :D Feast yo eyes on yet another chapter of my friend and meself's randomness etcetera etcetera! Sorry for the loooong overdue update and sorry that its so short! We are now beginning to widen our targeting range on the rest of the Legend of Zelda games. Reviews and suggestions are gladly welcome :) Now, to reply publicly to our people who kindly reviewed!**

**Gargravarr-** I'm glad you found it humorous, good to know that you thought stuff similar to some of these things! ^^

**DarkFlameTailz-** Aaaah… don't we all :D

**Phantom Hunter of the Soul-** Haha! Really? I'm glad to hear that my friend and I are not the only ones that are messed up in the head by thinking some of these things up X3

**hushed-nightingale-** Ha! Yeah, I actually did really think that too when I first played Twilight Princess with my friend, Lupine. I told her what I thought of Coro and she had to tell me that no he wasn't wearing a diaper X)

**Shebu-** Well, we are back in business and ready to fire the randomness blaster! Its good to know that others as you have shared the same thoughts and find this randomness humoring, thank you!

**Msfcatlover- **Ah, that idea we might just do. Both of us, mainly including Lupine-beauty who assists in this Legend of Zelda randomness have jumped at the sudden sound of Midna's "Eee hee!"'s and I believe she had spooked other people as well when they watched her play X) Thank you for your suggestions! We will add them to this chapter.

**Now, be careful for you are about to step into our little world once more. Eee hee hee!-**

**~Player's Corner**- Basically a new addition to our randomness of Legend of Zelda which includes the palyer's point of view. This idea was suggested by user Msfcatlover.~

(Ocarina of Time)Ganondorf goes on and on about how he tricked you into leading him to the Triforce of Power and then he suddenly starts laughing for no apparent reason which makes you laugh and then everyone else around you laugh into a never-ending chain of moronic laughter that eventually ends up in someone crying(its all fun and games until someone falls off their chair).

(Twilight Princess)Your intently watching the screen, jumping around, and trying to find an exit to this annoying maze until your Wii remote all of a sudden starts letting out loud "Eee hee!" sounds which makes you throw your remote at the television and go dive under the couch.

(Majora's Mask)You pop your disc in, ready to play a friendly game about masks, tiny skull-like children, moons, and fairies when all of a sudden the screen cuts to black and a twirling heart-like mask comes toward you with pretty little spikes on its side. Next a demented, eerie laughter sounds that reminds you of a prototype of Midna's scary "Eee hee!"s that is for sure to haunt your nightmares and replace that image in your head of nude Tingle. And if that's not enough they reused the laugh for Vaati in Minish Cap *le gasp*(only tweaked it a tiny bit!)!

(Twilight Princess)Your almost done collecting these frustrating mirror shard thingies as you follow this ugly looking yeti female to her so-called bedroom that for some strange reason its huge and is really high up in a mansion that has so many useless rooms(which speaking of which how in the world can you live in there, the rooms are all filled with creepy monsters and ice in a big mansion… using only THREE rooms). You walk into the bedroom and you are lead to the mirror hanging on the ceiling. The female yeti studies the mirror and starts talking as a pretty yet creepy music starts playing and she starts twitching like a rabid hamster, saying- "Pretty… pretty… mirror… lovely…" after she does this she twitches some more and then spins her head around exorcist style and shrieks at you for trying to take her shiny mirror- "NOT TAKE MIRRIOR!". Which until that part of the game you didn't know it could reflect anything. In your response you jump off your computer chair, flipping it over, and falling into a fighting stance. Right when the battle begins you swing your remote around, but to your dismay it's another cutscene where she attacks you with her bed and icy thingies. Once you defeat her you are about to rejoice and throw insults at the screen, that is, until she grows even fatter and then tries to attack you like those little bouncy thingies that look like air-hockey pucks and chases you around by bouncing of the walls(and this only before she attacks you with her bed!).

**~Scenes~**

~Scene: Midna and Link conversing~

Midna: Go eat cricket! Drink Timmy's spit!

Link: What, I don't know what you're saying!

Midna: Want penny. Michael Jackson wants you! Inka! You're a good boy too if you pay! Bad wipple!

Link: I. Don't. Speak. Twili.

Midna: You see my triscuits? So him? I eat him!

Link: Speak. English. Please! For the love of Din!

Midna: I bite your face!

Link: What the heck?

Midna: Crispy treats yeah! If you can break it!

Link: Would you at least read the script! For. Once!

Midna: (suddenly in English) Why don't you read it!

Link: O.O What?...

Midna: (back into gibberish once more) Your both GAY! Do you chew crickets, see there?

**EDITED/FIXED/TWEAKED****(whatever word sounds smarter :D) Scenes, suggested by user Msfcatlover~**

Scene: With the light spirit  
  
Ordona: Come… to me…

Wolf Link: (What if I do not want to cooome to yooou?) (walks a few steps forward and strange glowing rock thingies fall from the sky and create a red wall around Wolf Link)

Ordona: Beware… A shadow being… it approaches.

(creepy portal appears in sky and glows red. A butt-ugly monster falls out and lunges at Wolf Link)

Wolf Link: WHAT THE? STUPID CONNING VOICE!

~Scene: With the ReDead

Link: *shoots bomb-arrow*

Redead: *stands up and begins advancing on the hero*

Link: *shoots bomb-arrow*

Redead: *keeps coming*

Link: DIE ALREADY, WILL YOU? *shoots bomb-arrow*

***Okay, this is it for now. Lupine-beauty and I are both sorry that its so short, but we finally managed to get a hold of each other without any interruptions to do a random brainstorm. Sorry if we offended anyone in anyway. If you have any suggestions or if you have thought the same things while playing the game(s) then please do leave a review!**

**P.S. Lupine-beauty- Peace out bro!***


	4. Chapter 4

**-And walah, we are back… yet we are not back in black quite yet! More like back in blue… or gray… Anyway! Sorry if we disappointed you with our short chapter last time. We just wanted to let you know we are still up and running(not literally because obviously we are not putting our twisted minds together to make this… if we were running we would not be able to stare at the screen and try and get through a level (fairly easy one) on Four Swords XD). Ah and now for our publicly displayed replies to reviews…-**

**HeroineOfTime-** Really? Ha ha, good we weren't just seeing things or having a whacked up moment

**RawkHawk2.0-** … Hmmm… and ah I don't blame you. In Wind Waker the Redead's scream freaked me out that I was afraid of going near them for years(although I cannot relate closely of course since I didn't have nightmares, but… I get what you mean X3).

**AlphaWolfy28-** Why thank yee .

**Now without further delay, welcome to our corrupted, imaginative world of stuff and stuff! Eee hee hee! Oh and please do leave us a review and or suggestion, its much appreciated.-**

**~Player's Corner(inspired by Msfcatlover)-**

(Four Swords)You're happily playing Legend of Zelda Four Swords, which I might add you obtained recently. As usual you are wandering around, Green Link in the lead of course, until you reach a little clearing with a swarm of pink Octoroks. You stop moving the Analog Stick((we have it on Gamecube)) and comment aloud, "Aw, they're so cute!"… that is, until they all shoot at you at once instantly as you end your statement and kill you so that you waste another set of Force Fairies! Once they do just that you then comment, "They're no cute!… They're scary!"

(Majora's Mask)Out of joyous luck you arrive in an entirely dark room. As usual you get stopped by the annoying Tatl. "I feel something… dark.("or some crap like that")" _Well obviously! It's a "dark" room after all!_ Is what you are thinking so you take no heed to Tatl's rather random, declarative sentence and continue to blindly make your way through the dark room. Sadly though your arrogance has gotten you again in a corner. Also your arrogant little brain thought it would be awesome to turn up the volume on your television! So as you make your way halfway through the room you hear a blood-curling scream that reminds you of a rabid cat being squeezed like a bottle of toothpaste. As you turn the camera you cry out, flying backward in your chair, and scaring the people in the other room who are always seeming to worry about your random outbursts about now. What created this? Well it looks to be the naked, zombie, cannibal corpse that has interests in screaming randomly and getting on top of people, making weird noises as it does so, and biting their head… or something…

(Majora's Mask)Mainly out of curiosity as to what this mask does, you place the Gidbo((that even spelled right XD)) mask on and walk into a random cave/room/whatever. As you walk in you are greeted with an army of Redeads. With what happened to you last time when you met these perverted dead guys you scream like a girl scout meeting a rabid squirrel that wants your cookies((Over the Hedge moment)) and shield your eyes out of obvious fear and what not. Not hearing the annoying beep of lost hearts you open your eyes to see a strange phenomenon… Redeads doing the… Can-Can-Dance? Seeing this you replace your cries of fear with bursts of laughter. Obviously this event has distracted you from the Redead intentions and the fact that you have to go meet prissy, five year old who is really around like thirty years old, guy in skin-tight, green clothes who thinks he is a fiary… guy named Tingle.

**~Scenes~**

~Four Swords, Pink Octoroks~

Blue Link: "Look how they run away from me- ^^!"

Green Link: e-e

Blue Link: "See Green, I don't see why your so afraid. They're harmless!"

(Pink Octoroks shoot out ammo of some sort at Blue Link)

Blue Link: "Holy *#$ they're not cute… They're scary!" *hides behind Violet Link*

Shadow Link: XD

~Four Swords and Throwing People~

Green Link: *talks to a floaty spirit in the annoying level* Yeah, they're my friends. Good for throwing? Really?" *glances behind at Red Link who quickly hides behind Blue Link* Ohhhh, Reeeeeeeed~

(Advances on Red Link)

~Four Swords/Minish Cap, Picori Vaati~

Green Link: *stares down at ground with wide eyes, Blue, Red, and Violet Link leaning in with the same expression* "What the crap is that?"

Violet Link: I think that's… Vaati.

Blue Link: "Vaati? No way, he looks like a little bug instead of a creepy laughing orb looking eyeball- O.o"

Picori Vaati: *cries*

Red Link: *Picks up Picori Vaati* "Awwww, he's so cute!"

Picori Vaati: *Bites Red Link*

Red Link: *Flails about* "Aaaaaah, get it off get it off… GET IF OFF!

~Link to the Past~

(Link walks into a totally empty, small room.)

Link: "Huh… well this is disappointingly easy so far. Maybe Ganondorf is losing his cool."

(All of a sudden green tiles come up from the floor and fly at you like rabid, flying monkeys)

Link: O.O…. "Aaaaaaah!" *Runs around frantically while trying to dodge haunted, floaty, fly-y tiles of DOOOOOOM*

~Spirit Tracks and Hats~

Link: *Stares at Chancellor Cole while the old, weird, short guy is talking- totally ignoring whatever he is blabbering on about* "Dude what the crap are those hats for? Are you trying to make a fashion statement or beat Coro's fashion trend in Twilight Princess? If so you are missing a diaper thing and an afro. I mean really, do those hats make you feel tall or something? After all you are a pretty short geezer aren't you?"

Chancellor Cole: "At least I don't act like a transvestite and wear a green dress with a matching hat that looks like a wind sock! And besides I'm hiding," *takes off twin hats*, "my horns…. Of Doooooooooooom!"

(Bumbumbuuuuuum music sounds)

Link: "… Are you trying to make a fashion statement or something? They still make you look short."

~Wind Waker and the Great… Deku… Tree…~

(Link stares up at the Great Deku Tree, totally not hearing what the tree is talking about)

Link: "I thought you were supposed to look like some deity or something."

Great Deku Tree: "What do you mean child?"

Link: "I mean that you look like a some idiot who tried to carve a tree into something that resembled a human!"

Great Deku Tree: "How did you know! Wow you must be really smart!"

(Link twitches)

~Twilight Princess and Zoras~

Link: "What are these magical beings? They're so colorful and magical and pretty and elegant and colorful and magical… are they fairies?"

Midna: "They're just Zoras…"

Link: "Really? I remember them being less much colorful and shiny! They're like Rupees or shiny, glittery fairies!"

(Tingle magically appears)

Tingle: "I finally found a fairy!"

Link: "I know right! See Midna, they're fairies."

Tingle: "What are you talking about Mr. Fairy?"

~Midna, Zelda, and Midna Watching the Legend of Zelda TV Show~

Zelda: "I don't sound like that… do I!"

Midna: "Eee hee hee hee! I'll never tell, princess."

Link: "They showed my character poorly, I mean really who would ever like Zelda like tha-…"

Zelda: "What!"

(SLAP)

Link: *rubs cheek* "Well excuuuuse me princess."

Midna: *slap again*

**-Eee hee hee, hope you enjoyed our usual random, whacked up world! Sorry if you were expecting more. As you can tell we added more LoZ games to our list of Random Thoughts to widen the range. We are also now and then referring to the Manga versions of LoZ. Anyway, feel free to leave a Review(please do tell ****) and or suggestion of our next chapter of our corrupted Hyrule world! Lupine-Beauty and WolfsLegend up and out so peace out ;)**

**NOTE: No Octoroks were harmed in the making of this chapter… mostly…(unless you count the time with the slingshot that one time… yeah… good times…)-**


	5. Chapter 5

**-Who missed us :D? Right now we will not do a little response section, but we thank you for the people who leave us reviews, we really appreciate them. As usual we are open to any suggestions and do please tell us if you have ever thought of any of this stuff(in any chapter of this too). We will continue this for as long as our randomness shall live!**

**R&R because Lupine-Beauty raises rabid Cuccos… and your next for their bloody feast-**

**~Players Corner(Inspired by Msfcatlover)~**

(Twilight Princess)At last you are at a high point in the game, the plot finally unfolding out and you didn't figure that just because you awoke as a wolf in a cell while being chained to the floor and having an imp girl come floating by, insult you, and then claim she can help you. You are rather disappointed that she won't help you get out of this blasted cell but no worries, that's why you like Legend of Zelda games. The puzzles and mysterious are always making you more interested. Although, as minutes pass… 30… 40… an hour… that interest has long since faded. Angry now, not only by hearing Midna's constant giggle as you talk to her and hope for a better hint and because the fact that you can't find a way out you finally result to just running around and slamming into the walls and cell door. Miraculously through your angered pressing of the B button((have it on Gamecube)) those creates that you had stared at for the past hour break just as you ram into them. Feeling even more angered and rather stupid then happy you throw the controller at the television screen, but then… pick it back up to see what else shall happen.

(Wind Waker)Finally! You've finally reached the end of the story, the resolution of it all only minutes ahead of you! Now for the final boss fight. As you reach the top you scoot up closer to the screen with that concentrated look, as usual, stuck on your face. It fades now and then, Ganon's speech and the slow action getting a bit boring, but the fades vanishes instantly as Ganon does something that clearly does not make since! He starts lunging at Link with surprising agility with martial art skills! What kind of Ordon Goat Cheese is that? He's like a tall, fat ole gumdrop! He's clearly defying the laws of gravity! What's even more amaz- stran-… whatever word to describe how truly… weird this rather is, his speed with two swords. Of course right away this logical thinking of yours vanishes right when the battle begins, but… _four minutes later_… total disappointment. The only fun thing was remembering the old Legend of Zelda jokes that fans have made of Zelda, the fact that you got to jump around and do those fancy moves on Ganon, and the fact that he had TWO, count 'em, TWO swords!... and here you were thinking it would be an epic battle since those puppet bosses were so frustrating and took a bit of your patience and time…

(Majora's Mask)You're walking through the castle, wearing your trusty Captain's hat to avoid any run-ins with the Redeads when suddenly you enter the throne room of Ikana castle. At first you notice that the room is very, very dim and after realizing this rather obvious fact, suddenly you see a guy- a skeleton- sitting on the throne and he immediately yells at you for bringing the "unspeakable" into his realm(whatever the Goat Cheese that is…), right away he sends his lackeys at you. After you are done defeating his lackeys he stands up to fight you, he takes a look at your Captain's hat and looks at you strangely. Suddenly he mistakes you for Captain Keeta and makes fun of you for being so short. To which Link and Tatl are taken aback by this… or maybe they're just confused by being mistaken by a dead skeleton guy that could possibly start acting like a Redead(when encountered…) and after he's done laughing he returns to beating the crap out of you- with his creepy detachable head and see through body.

(Wind Waker)You are running around happily, heading to your Grandma's house or to save the day of some random pirate girl that got kidnapped by a gigantor bird that happens to conveniently drop you into a forest, and anyway you pass the bridge and run right by that ugly kid with the snot hanging out of his nose. Right away you think about his rather stupid mother, the one who will later eat all those pigs that you so kindly collected for her… for not paying attention to her brat of kid for his constant nose problems of hanging snot. Upon seeing you he chases after you and as you stop he bumps into you, getting you all snotty. Immediately you wish your crappy old sword could knock him away, but still you do it despite that fact and still he continues bumping into you. Right away you use your death glare on the screen and run away, jumping on the ledge and laughing out in triumph right as the stupid kid loses interest because he lost sight of you.

**~Scenes~**

What Links and Tingle do when Game is Paused

*playing "Go Fish" with different set of cards*

Link: *gets a card out of the deck* "Got any Goat Cheese fours?"

Violet Link: *shakes head* "Go fish."

Tingle: Fairy-go! I got Fairy-go! See, I got four in a row! *lays down cards, all are Goat Cheese fours*

Link: What the-… you blasted transvestite, girly man, tights wearing moron! First of all it's Bingo, but we're not even playing Bingo… and second of all you had all those cards that I just asked for!

Tingle: "But if I handed them over to you then you would get Fairy-go, Mr. Fairy, and then you would win but I want to win so I kept them- ^^"

Link: *jumps up on table and tries to lunge at Tingle but gets pulled back by Red Link*

Twilight Princess- Escaping from the Cell(Inspired by Hylian-Guardian's TP fan comic on deviantART)

Midna: If you can get your way out of here I might be able to help you.

Wolf Link: ! *Glances around and then stares at bars, backs up and then charges forward toward the cell's door. With a loud crash he crouches downward with paws over head, teeth bared in clear annoyance*

Midna: O.O… Did that hurt?

Wolf Link: Shuddap!

((We recommend you check out her comic and artwork on dA, Hylian-Guardian's ^^ she is a lovely, talented person full of craziness 3))

Wind Waker- Final Boss stage with Ganon

Ganon: *starts getting all martial art-y*

Link: 0o0'… Dude, how can you do that? You look like Santa Claus yet you can run around and do martial arts?

Ganon: What are you saying?... Link, I am Santa Claus!

Link:…. What? No… impossible!

Ganon: Now that you know my secret, bow before me!

Link: Why should I? I'm going to kill you even ten times more than usual! Last Christmas you gave me that picture of Tingle when I clearly asked a picture of Zelda in all her _wisdom_!

Zelda: You know I can hear you, you pervert, just because the script tells me to act unconscious doesn't mean I can't hear you!

Link: Uh I was talking to Ganon_dorf_, not you!

Zelda: Oh shut up! Go back to Ocarina of Time and grow up you pervert! Why do I even deal with you? Your worse than Zant and Ganon put together!

Link: Well excuuuuuse me Princess for being ME. I can't help it that the writers of this game decided to make me as an eleven year old or whatever! I mean what kind of eleven year old even acts hum-ho with fighting all of a sudden and plunges into everything without freaking out for at least a second?

Ganon: Would you both shut up and focus your attention on me already! Its my most epic part in this whole entire game! That beside appearing in a conveniently circular room with a gigantor bed that one would only wonder where in the world it came from and how it got there while I do an epic speech about how your gods destroyed you and all that… and… and… now you made me forget what I was blabbering on about as I usually do! Man, now I just want a Klondike bar man…

Super Smash Bros series- Confrontation with… Kirby…

Link: Where in the name of Din am I? I was just about to finally beat Midna at her own game in Go Fish and now I'm… on this piece of bridge? It even looks like Eldin's bridge too! *glances around*

Kirby: A visitor? For me?

Link: *turns to see what looks like a pink blob with a pair of red polka dots and red shoes* W-What the? Who… what are you?

Kirby: I'm Kirby, you wanna play with me?

Link: I don't have time to pla-

Kirby: Play. With. Me.

Link: Look you, I don't have time to play! I was just about to finally beat Midna in a game of Go Fish, do you know how hard that is to beat her at even Hangman?

Kirby: Play! With! Me! *starts sucking in air* Play with Kirby! Kirby wants to play!

Link: Ah, don't do that! I'm too young to die! I haven't even had my first kiss or got to see Zelda in all her wisdom! *gets sucked in by Kirby* Its so dark in here! Ah! Tingle?

Tingle: Mr. Fairy! How nice to meet you in this dark, foreboding stomach of Mr. Blob… where we're all alone… with no one to hear your scream-... I mean us speaking!

…. Back with Midna….

Midna: *sets down Monopoly on Link's table* Hey Link, wanna play with me?

Link: Aaaah! Please don't eat me! I'll play just don't eat me and make me meet that-that THING(Tingle)*screams like a school girl meeting a rabid squirrel while falling off chair*

Midna: e-e' Did Talo give you that _"candy"_ again? *crosses arms and watches Link run, more like stagger, out of the scene*

Randomness of Skullkid with Link, Skullkid(obviously), Midna, and Zant

Skullkid: I eat dandelions like a Sunday on the bees of the coconut tree!

Link: …..

Skullkid: *points at self* I'm Canadian geese!

Midna: Oh look Skullkid, a wall! Go over there and check it out! *Midna smirks, gesturing to a random wall across from them*

Skullkid: *runs immediately to wall with open arms* Hi waaaaaall~ Wanna be frieeeeeeeends?

Link: He makes less sense then you do! *points at Midna*

Midna: What's that supposed to mean!

Link: Isn't it obvious, you once said stuff like for me to go eat bread, drink Timmy's spit- whoever that is-, eggs fall, Michael Jackson wants you, and that Brad Pitt is gay.

Midna: I do not say that!

Skullkid: What would you do-oooo-ooo for a Klondike bar?

Midna and Link: What's a Klondike bar?

Link: I think it's a flower… yeah definitely a flower.

Midna: No! It's a vegetable!

Skullkid: Former hermit crab!

Zant: Maybe it's a stylish mask that looks even more awesome than mine… *gasps* if so then I must have it!

Skullkid: No, former hermit crab does not have a taxi!

Link: Gah! What's a taxi?

Midna: Maybe it's a type of cloth?

Zant: Loin cloth?

Twilight Princess- What Zant does when you pause the game during the boss battle with him

Zant: Iiiiiiii'm too sexy for my mask, too sexy for my mask~

Midna: …

Zant: I'm soooo sexy that it hurts, it hurts.

Link: …

Zant: … Ice ice baby!... *starts making up own lyrics to the song and does very odd dancing*

Midna: I think I'm going to throw up.

Link: *unable to find words to describe disgusted feelings while watching scene*

Twilight Princess- Givonni and the Magical Chest

Wolf Link: *takes out the shiny Poe soul in an awesome butt-kicking way and turns to the bright,shiny, glittery, golden, shiny, bright… talking statue* Ooooh…. Preeeeeetty! O,O

Givonni: *blabbers on about evil little poes that look oddly adorable, greed, and a frozen cat on his head(how did it conveniently get there, Wolf Link is still contemplating on this), finally opens a chest to the side of the room*

Wolf Link: Where the crap did that come from? How did you open that?

Givonni:… Shut up! I'm magic!

Wolf Link: And why isn't anyone looking for you? Why don't you call for help if your magical? Hey since you are all glittery and shiny are you like those Twilight fairies((Twilight vampires= fairies))?

Givonni: Shut up! I'm magical now go find the Poes!

Twilight Princess- Sad Ending When Midna Leaves Forever

Midna: *talks in a squeaky high-pitched voice that doesn't match her body well as she looks off in the distance, saying how much she is thankful and stuff before she walks up the steps *

Link: :'O

Zelda: D,:

Midna: *prepares to walk off steps, not seeing Link hesitantly reach out but reconsiders and pulls back his hand* Brad Pitt's gay… *sheds a tear and leaves*

((Lupine-Beauty had this happen, she said she was intently reading, feeling sad because we both like Midna, but then she said she heard Midna say this…))

Twilight Princess- Ganon Dies

Ganon: *blabbers on about basically how much Hyrule and the gods and all that will meet their end or whatever*

Link: e-e'

Zelda: -.-

Ganon: *finally dies, but… does it standing up (and doesn't fall over like REGULAR people)…*

Link: *hesitantly walks over to Ganon and pokes him*

Ganon: Do you mind? I'm trying to portray a good evil man and his epic death here! Trying to make it so epic that my beloved fans will dream of me coming back… yet again from imprisonment!

Link: Beloved fans? Hah! Vaati is much cooler than you, he's purple! Green just makes you look like you need to throw up!

Ganon: What the land of blasted Hyrule are you saying? You WEAR green!

Link: Not on my face!

Ganon: Least I'm not two timing Zelda with that little imp of… an imp!

Link: So? I haven't gotten to see Zelda… but I get to see Midna… every time in imp form!

Zelda: WHAT are you two talking about?

Ganon: Link wants to see you naked- 8D!

*SLAP*

Wind Waker and the Magical Talking Boat!

Link: *wakes up and gets greeted by a… a… boat?*

Magical Talking Boat: *yaps on about something that is obviously important but Link is too shocked to understand*

Link: Hey Magical Talking Boat… why do you talk and how come you have a beard and were you stalking me cause otherwise how'd you find me and am I in heaven then if you're talking and how come the sky's blue and grass is green? And-

Angry, Magical Talking Boat: Shut up you dress wearing imbecile! I am an infamous king, how dare you call me a "Magical Talking Boat"! Obviously I'm magical and yes I am a bearded king okay! Now don't make fun of my beard or I'll let the piranhas feast on your puny little bones! No I'm not a stalker! I just happened to follow you now and then when you left Outset Island with that pirate gang while you waved sadly to your Grandmama and then did a stupid thing and let those pirates launch you off with a stinking barrel while you journeyed to… never mind! And why in the world does it matter about the reason for blue skies and green grass when the world is in utter danger?

Link: Wait… so I'm sitting on a fat old guy?

Majorily(is not a word) Angery, Magical Talking Boat: FAT? I have you know I haven't eaten a Klondike bar in ten minutes!

Link: How can you talk?

Annoyed Magical Talking Boat: Do you ever shut up with the questions?

Link: I'm an eleven year old that's hyped up on milk okay!

Confused Magical Talking Boat: Hyped on wha…? Oh good gods… the seas will never be saved if you're the hero. Hyped up on milk, what kind of brat hero are you?

Link: The kind that likes milk? Hey what's that? *points to a mini ship with a cannon on it*

Grumbling, Magical Talking Boat: Hopefully the ship that's going to get rid of you… somehow… I already regret stalki-… I mean… saving… you…

**-Once again we leave you… I know… so sad '.'... By the way we apologize that we do mostly Twilight Princess(we both like wolves, obviously, and so TP is one of our fave from the LoZ franchise, besides Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time ;)), we are trying to brainstorm of more random things from the other games, but not to worry! Who knows… maybe we'll start doing Random Game thoughts on other games eventually, but for now we are sticking with good ole Legend of Zelda!**

**NOTE: Review to save a poor defenseless Cucco in its time of need… We are their sun((get it :D… Cuccos= chickens/roosters… heeeeeeh~))… so save a Cucco today…**

**Over and out!**

**~WolfsLegend**

**Peace!**

**~Lupine-Beauty-**


	6. Chapter 6

**-Weeeeee back \(^o^)/… you can all rejoice now for our return *bows*. We are having a fabulous time with out random world(we suggest you never attempt to enter this world… because of that one time that guy with the VIP pass… yeah… he hasn't been seen since…) and we are even thinking on doing Random Thoughts on other games, but right now that thought is at a low level. Besides, so much fanfics on my end while Lupine has a fanfic of her own that she is trying to revise and continue. Now onward so that you may see a teaser(s) of our random world of randomness!**

**Random Wisdom: "PMS means 'Pissed at Men Syndrome'!"- Quoted by me, told by the kid in Last Song. And, "I like Biting, it's like kissing, except there's a winner!"- quoted by Lupine-Beauty, told by T.A.R.D.I.S in Doctor Who**

* * *

**~Players' Corner(Inspired by Msfcatlover)~**

(Majora's Mask) For your first time you press start on one of many well-known games of Legend of Zelda. Of course you're excited, hearing all the good views on it and it's actually dark- darker then Twilight Princess in most opinions. On your first time playing you go through all that stuff, learning how to be a cute little Deku Scrub(you're sure to get Hylian girls with that cuteness), and having either a new disliking or liking to your new version of "Navi" fairy(what a joy). Finally you reach outside and right away you glance up. At first you think you're seeing things. Then you're sure, the moon looks possessed. Or constipated. Or both.

(Wind Waker) Finally, you've gotten the deed to that cool looking house on that one island where the door is a butler. That was tough, wasting your own time gathering jewelry which was just a bunch of stupid butterflies(who would want that many of one thing anyway?). Still you've gotten what you most rightfully deserve and once snagging the deed you head out to your trustworthy boat. Upon arriving you immediately head right in, not reconsidering to investigate the plants or whatever to get more rupees. You look around, getting bored despite talking to the Butler door, and look at the hook over the fireplace. Out of curiosity you take out your hookshot and use it on the hook only to find that a secret pathway has opened. Now literally jumping for joy and curiosity from your seat you get Link to walk right in. At first you find all of this overly cool, that is, until you see a Redead-mummy-thingy. Right upon seeing it you run but it's too late and you end up in a dead end. How sad, you just scared Link for life with memories of his past games with Redeads in them. Of course you aren't even thinking about his poor self, but are thinking of particularly one thing- "Who in the world has mummies in their basement?" Of course you're probably thinking other thoughts but either way they end short, no way you're going to let some freaky butterfly jewelry loving, teacher lady's basement buddies kill you! Viva la revolucion!

(Twilight Princess) Curiosity killed the cat, but what does curiosity ever do to a Legend of Zelda player who tries out turning into a wolf and entering Castletown? Nothing but pure happiness to see all the people running away like little girls. Meanie heads judging poor Wolf Link. Anyway you trot on down to the center, people running to and fro. It would be even funnier if they actually ran into each other but oh well. You stop at the fountain only find a line of Hyrule soldiers waiting for you. At first you're thinking, oh great, this is like Fable when the soldiers come whenever you cause trouble. Even so you get Wolf Link to walk up to them only to find that the soldiers shrink back, all trembling like babies. One stabs his spear at you but the move only nudges Wolf Link to the side. Pathetic. No wonder Hyrule is always in trouble! Letting wolves go about there business, letting kids sneak through the castle, letting kids sneak through dark fortresses of evil despite searchlights being everywhere, and letting a kid and a royal kid sneak out of a stupid maze of hallways!

* * *

**~Scenes~**

Link and his realization of the moon in Majora's Mask

_**Link:**_ *glances at sky* …. e.e…. e.o…. O.o… What in the land of Hyrule is that? *runs up to a random passerby*. What's with the moon! Why's it have a face on it? Why is it not natural on have perfect roundness!

_**Random Passerby:**_ I'm waiting for my love.

_**Link:**_ Okay, nice I guess but you didn't answer my question.

_**Random Passerby:**_ He hasn't been seen for a while. I'm worried.

_**Link:**_ Yeah that's nice. Now could you please answer my question of hysteria?

_**Random Passerby(Anju):**_ I'm waiting for my love.

_**Link:**_ For the love of Goat Cheese are you even listening to me? *starts waving hands in Random Passerby's(Anju's) face*

_**Random Passerby(Anju): **_*Turns more properly to see Link* Why hello there little Deku Scrub. I wonder, have you happened to meet my fiancé? He's missing.

_**Link:**_ … Actually could you answer my question-

_**Random Passerby(Anju):**_ I'm waiting for my love.

_**Link:**_ I don't care about your purple hair, cross dressing boyfriend who looks a bit like Vaati but with darker hair!

_**Random Passerby(Anju):**_ I'm waiting for my love.

Skullkid's Randomness

_**Skull: **_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard! Dang daffodils it's better than yours!

_**WolfLink:**_ …. (What's a… how'd he ever pronounce that?)

_**Midna:**_ *glances down at WolfLink* What's uh… m-mik-mil-milk sssss-shhhh-shake?

_**Skull:**_ *Pops up beneath WolfLink* I can teach you, but you'll have to charge!

_**Midna:**_ Are you mad and for the love of eating goat cheese, what are you even saying!

_**Skull: **_Yesh ^^… and I have no porcupine of a clue on a Tuesday of a waffle!

_**Midna:**_ Wh-what is that supposed to mean?

_**Skull:**_ … I like furry, fluffy lions that do innuendos((Lion King reference)) and Pete's sake of a brush of gold with cherries and cars on top at night when I'm bathing in rives of Santa Claus is a rainbow made of zombies and it comes whenever the moon cow runs with the fairies of G street at the kalamazoo in a sonnet of fourteen deer where the antelope stampede!

_**Midna:**_ Um… okay… we'll uh… c-come back later…

_**WolfLink:**_ Backs away slowly.

Link and Navi in Dumb Navi (real comic-y cartoon made by yours truly)

*Link and Navi happily trudge through a random forest, hoping to find something of any interest so as to help each other proceed with their journey*

_**Navi:**_ *turns around so as to properly see Link* Hey listen, let's go find that treasure chest!

-barely a minute passes by-

_**Navi:**_ I wonder where it could be?... *turns to find Link staring at something*… Hey Link do you know where it could be?

_**Link:**_ *glances down to previous spot that he had stared at to see a glowing treasure chest with a sign right above it marked "Treasure Chest HERE"… with Navi floating right beside it…* (For the love of Din, is she serious?)

_**Navi:**_ Hmm… Where could it be? *floats away from treasure chest to another area on the path* Where is it? Here chesty chest chest! Here boy… or girl…?

Link Meets Linebeck and Speaks His First Words

_**Linebeck: **_Hey mute kid, say you want some candy?

_**Link: **_… O.o (Is… he what Midna would call Zant… a pedo-bear?)

_**Linebeck:**_ No? Are you sure? If you want I can give you one of those big lollipops… its greeeeen. I'll just have to look in my very misleading, white van with no windows in the back and changeable license plates. Come on, let's go find it! *takes Links hand*

_**Link: **_P-P-P-Puh-Peh-Pee-Ped-Pedoh-Pedo B-B-B-Beer-Bare-Bare?

_**Linebeck:**_ … What? Sorry but I don't understand weird mute kid lingo speak, especially from the nowadays. Now come on, let's go into my really-not-so-creepy van to finish the quest of finding that lollipop! :D

Dark Link's Pageant Answer (F-U-N song reference)

_**Host: **_So Dark, what do you promise the world?

_**Dark: **_Well, that's easy, Jeff. Darkness that shuns out all light, death upon everyone who opposes me, and fire that burns down the whole town and uranium bombs and no survivo-…

_**Host:**_ Uh… *backs away slowly*… what a colorful… imagination…*backs away even more*

Emo Dark Link

_**Blue: **_What's the matter with Dark THIS time?

_**Red:**_ Who knows, who cares!

_**Vio: **_Someone told him that he was one of the characters starring in that old Legend of Zelda television series.

_**Blue: **_The one that makes us all want to vomit our insides out and then kill ourselves only to reincarnate and kill ourselves again?

_**Vio: **_Yeah that one!

_**Green: **_Hey Links, what's the matter with Dark? Why is he acting all sullen and depressed and cowering in a corner with his sword?

_**Red: **_He's being an emo you idiot. Just let him be emo, besides everyone thinks he's that way!

_**Vio: **_If only they knew that deep down inside he really loved the color pink, teddy bears, fairies, and that he still dreams to grow up as a prince-…

_**Dark: **_Would you Din loving idiots shut the *%^# up you #%&&* !##$%%! Or I'll come over there and ^&##$%1 your !#!2321!#!

_**Red:**_ I never even knew that those words existed… Such wonderful words :'D

_**Blue: **_Wow! Dark's vocabulary is so colorful!

_**Vio: **_That's marvelous! You'll make a fine princes-

_**Dark: **_Did you even hear what I #$!%#$^&###$!12234 said!

_**Vio: **_What, are you done being emo? Oh that's good! Now you can fulfill your dream to be a princes-

_**The four Links were never seen again…..**_

Twilight Princess- What Zant does when you pause the game during the boss battle with him… again

_**Zant: **_I am not a whore *whipping sounds*, I am not a whore *whipping sounds*, I am not a whore *whipping sounds again*… *in a tiny and high-pitched voice* But I like to do it!

_**Link: **_W-What? D:

_**Midna:**_ This time I defiantly think I'm going to throw up! *hides behind Link*

_**Zant: **_*finally stops singing only to start again, but in a girlier voice then his present voice* My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, !#$ it's better than yours, !#$ it's better than yours! I can teach you, but you'll have to charge!

_**Link: **_M-Make it stop… for the love of all that is innocent and pure and mute to heroes of time and not full of pedo-bears make it stop!

Midna Speak and WolfLink's Game Over

_**WolfLink: **_Hey, how do we get out of this little, weird looking imp that can't speak worth a crap? These tentacle things are creepy. Come on hurry, up and answer me!

_**Midna: **_Drink Timmy's spit. Jimmy fell down the well so hurry down. Puppies eat me. Eee hee!

_**WolfLink: **_… Well that was useless. Why did I even bother trying to save my behind when I have you as my sidekick? Can you at least do a dance or something to help me out, like interpret what I have to do to kill these things?

_**Midna: **_I killed your mother. You eat chicken? Brad Pitt's gay! *leaves WolfLink*

_**WolfLink:**_ Hey! Wait! W-What, how do I get rid of these things I mean come on- Ah! *gets attacked and devoured by the tentacle-y monsters (Dark Messenger Beasts)*

_**Game Over…**_

* * *

**-Welp, there you go! Yet another preview of our randomness ;) If you want to see more then take a gander at our collabrotive Youtube account as well! We made a video for halloween by making a Twilight Princess video with the song "Halloween" by Aqua. Just find our youtube account- "PockyandCheesenip". It's our joint account, eee hee!**

**We'd also like to thank everyone for their reviews and just everything! At first I just asked Lupine for helping me with the first chapter, we had thought of this awhile back, but around like the next chapter it started catching more attention... and now... so many hits. It's making us feel all warm and fuzzy inside so we will do our best to keep this fanfic climbing until we get sucked up of every bit of randomness we have and fall to our death beds, in a matter of speaking, and trust me... this will take awhile. It must! **

**Even so, please feel free to share your thoughts with us. We always love to hear from others who have ideas or who have thought of the same things.**

**Lupine- I like sandwiches!... Peace my peeps!**

**Wolfs- What would you do-ooo-oo for a Link plushie doll :D... over and out!**


	7. Chapter 7

**-Poof! Here it is! Guess who finally got a DS? Yep, that's right, WolfsLegend! Guess who got Phantom Hourglass and is loving it? Yep, that's right, George Washintgon! Wait… what?**

**Guess who got Skyward Sword (defiantely not WolssLegend…), yep, me! The awesomest *not a word* Lupine-beauty of course!**

**_You have been forewarned, this content is rated T for various reasons and contains spoilers for the Legend of Zelda game franchise. _We take no responsibility for possible Tingle or Zant filled nightmares that you may obtain while reading this or our other chapter… that is all :)-**

* * *

**~Players' Corner (Inspired by Msfcatlover)~**

(Phantom Hourglass) Right when you meet Celia you just know she has some kind of significance. I mean really, who appears on a random beach with no memories but their names, wants to help some random boy with some wicked, haunted ship that kidnaps and probably eats people, and apparently has some old man who adopted them and says "Oh go ahead, just try not to get yourselves killed or eaten and don't run into any pedo-bears!"… Especially when you find the Spirit of Power which by the way, you can't help but think- who in the world would name a supposedly strong Spirit… Leaf…? With that thought passed you can't help but continue to think about Celia, but that soon passes- momentarily- when you see the colors of the Spirits. They're all wrong! It should be blue, red, and GREEN! Anyway, you go back to playing, only to find out that you were correct. Celia is of importance but when she changes… she's… yellow? For the love of mute heroes and people that randomly run into danger without a normal conscience why couldn't anyone see this as obvious? It's already bad enough that you had to rescue four whacked up sisters in some whacked up ship who were obviously trying to murder you yet you still had to rescue them? Surely the word is coming to an end than! I mean come on anyone who-…. –Your rant was disconnected-

(Skyward Sword) Right when you place the new Legend of Zelda game in the Wii, you literally jump up and down… so eager to see how this game shall fair. After all, you do see yourself as the best of all Legend of Zelda fans- one who is even in the Anti-Naked Tingle Rebellion Foundation Organization of Ordon Province and Outset Island and… well… you get the picture. Of course as you continue to play, your jumping attitude falls. You can't help but feel a bit creeped out about how a girl is popping out of your sword (which you are holding, clearly…) who seems to have fashion issues or part of her attire is just stuck to her skin, she gives you a bit of Navi Whiplash- something you truly fear- and likes to dance around randomly while reciting prophecies from a goddess and to top that all… she likes to get little boys to go on dangerous, life threatening quests to find a stupid damsel in distress who apparently just loves the dark side so much that she keeps getting sucked in tornadoes, kidnapped, and just a whole lot of whooplah… but then… you get passed that creeped feeling and have fun with it! Who cares if that other feeling by seeing the demon lord is creepy, reminding you that perhaps this demon lord is possibly Zant's long lost cousin- Pedo-Bear Number TWO! :D….. Or perhaps Tingle's uncle… or even both!

(All LoZ)The first time when you discovered that attacking those harmless cuccos would bring a wave of demented ones that would eat away at you until you died a painful yet slow death… you jumped for joy. Of course, not a one thought of how Link felt about all this- a wave of demented cuccos making it look like the apocalypse just by filling up the sky… very traumatic. Anyway, when boredom came this was your only escape… attacking random cuccos and then running like a wild man toward safety. You can't help but hold sadistic thoughts about it, I mean come on… Flying, demented, cannibalistic cuccos are just plain epic with a capital E! Once you got the game, Twilight Princess though… things just went crazy from there. You take your sword out and attack the cucco, swinging madly like some deranged, skirt wearing, hero, mute boy… and then… you take over the cucco's mind and run about… for six itty bitty seconds… HOW COOL IS THAT! That's like the best thing ever! Taking over a demented cuccos mind and making it do whatever to your heart's content… for six mere seconds… most epic thing ever…

**~Scenes~**

Skyward Sword's First Meeting of The Demon Lord… Dun Dun Duuuuun…

_**Bad A:**_ I am the Demon Lor-

_**Link:**_ Oh. My. Gosh! Do you realize just how awesome you are!

_**Awesome Bad A:**_ How dare you interrupt me you foul hu-… wait… what… I'm… awesome?

_**Link:**_ Pfft, more awesome then a Tingle with clothes on, man! You're now my new hero, next to Error!

_**More Awesome Than Error Bad A:**_ Oh, I don't know what to say. I feel so warm and fluffy inside… that I could just kill someone! (wide smile)

_**Link:**_ You should, you're the best boss dude of them all. Man, can't wait to see how I get to kick your butt later.

_**...:**_ W-Wait… Excuse me!

_**Link:**_ Okay, now let's get this over with so I can hopefully have a cool kick butt boss fight at the end of this. Now where were we? Oh yeah! You were about to act all pedo-bear like Zant.

_**Pedo Bad A Demon Lord:**_ Pedo-wha?

Phantom Hourglass: Line Beck's Dream

_**Tetra:**_ You are so pathetic. You're not even worthy to be a pirate! I bet your so pathetic that you don't even have a dream! (points accusingly at Line Beck)

_**Line Beck:**_ Well excuuuuse me princess, I in fact do have a dream! It's a dream of dreams that can match no other, (starts singing) a fabulous dream with the wonders of wonders. It's so extraordinary that it would blow your ears right off that little head of yours. So wondrous it is that even the goddesses and gods bow to it out of pure jealousy. So wondrous that it stretches on and one for miles like the seas. It's like a beacon of hope, making the butter to the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It's the alpha of the omega. It tells of so much yet speaks of so little. My dream is not of-…

_**Link:**_ Would. You. Stop. Singing. Please! I just got over my nightmares of Zant's singing from Twilight Princess, now I'll have nightmares of you!

Tetra: Wait, how would you know Zant now? Isn't those years ahead of our timeline?

_**Link:**_ How should I know? I just run around smashing pots, saving damsels in distress, collect rupees, and kick some butt. I don't make the path, the path is set for me.

_**Tetra:**_ (rolls eyes) Boys.

_**Line Beck:**_ Can we please bring the attention back on ME. My dream is obviously to become a Pokemon Master, duh! It's so obvious. Haven't you ever seen my Pikachu underwear?

_**Tetra:**_ What's a pokey mum and eeew gross, of course not!

_**Link:**_ Poke me mum… pokey mom… poke you mon…

_**Line Beck:**_ It's Pokey-mon or poke-uh-mon for crying out loud! Stop soiling its name, you make sound so uncool when you say it!

((We had this one on our previous chapter but we loved it so much that we just had to show it again XD))

Link Meets Linebeck and Speaks His First Words

_**Linebeck: **_Hey mute kid, say you want some candy?

_**Link: **_… O.o (Is… he what Midna would call Zant… a pedo-bear?)

_**Linebeck:**_ No? Are you sure? If you want I can give you one of those big lollipops… its greeeeen. I'll just have to look in my very misleading, white van with no windows in the back and changeable license plates. Come on, let's go find it! *takes Links hand*

_**Link: **_P-P-P-Puh-Peh-Pee-Ped-Pedoh-Pedo B-B-B-Beer-Bare-Bare?

_**Linebeck:**_ … What? Sorry but I don't understand weird mute kid lingo speak, especially from the nowadays. Now come on, let's go into my really-not-so-creepy van to finish the quest of finding that lollipop! :D

Twiligh Princess Link Meets Skyward Sword Link

_**TP Link:**_ (looks over the new and improved Skyward Sword Link)Wow, new me looks pretty sexy.

_**SS Link:**_ Pffft, obviously. Why else would I finally get Zelda loving my awesomeness?

_**TP Link:**_ Uh! W-Well… So-so! Least-least I don't randomly jump off stuff!

_**SS Link:**_ Yeah, like it's so uncool getting a rare bird to pick you up when you jump off stuff to where you can fly and feel the taste of freedom instead of being grounded the whole time. The thing I'm awesome for is not being paired with Dark Link, Ganondorf, and Zant so easily. Haven't you seen those art websites and their whacked up fandom art on your legend line?

_**TP Link:**_ Are you even hearing yourself right now? Your boss is the creepiest and most pedo-bear of them all!

_**SS Link:**_ Oh Din… you're right! (takes a step back as if in shocking realization) W-Well I don't care! I'm still sex-sexy!

Skyward Sword- Link and the bully (that guy with the funky hair and butt-ugly face- Groose)

_**Butt-Ugly Bully:**_ And once I win that race Zelda is so going to be all mine so no mute guys who could kcik my butt any day of the week should get in my way! 'Cause she gives me her flying handkerchief we are so going to have a party!

_**Link:**_ (only reason he is being mute at the moment is because he is baffled at how ugly and creepy this dude looks… however, he finally speaks) Uh, what's with your hair? Are you trying to be a unicorn or something? Even your face is just messed up, like the goddess tried to make you look like a guy mixed between a unicorn and a bug-eyed bug… but… messed up… messed up badly.

_**Butt-Ugly Unicorn Bully:**_ W-What? You Goat dropping, this hair is what wins girls over… especially hot lady Zelda! Gosh, you are so stupid! No wonder Zelda follows you around and holds your little hand.

_**Link:**_ Excuuuuse me? (crosses arms) Are you on some of Skull Kid's "candy" or what? Zelda better be loving me because I have saved her butt for years from perverts, pedo-bears, sickos, whackos, creeps, and the list of insults just goes on and on… I've went through painful mutations from a Din loving bunny to a bunch of random old people that passes away with only their faces left behind to an Ordon Cheese crapping wolf, had to get eaten by squids at sea to having to save four whacked up sisters in a whacked up ship while the whole time they keep trying to kill me, from gathering four stupid little items for some old dude that that I found living in a hole in the wall from chasing a floating eyeball shifter that has the creepiest of creepy laughs, to going through puberty twice and having to… (on and on and on)

* * *

**-We know, it's short but we can only give you a bit of invitations to our world of randomness (VP list is all full ;)). Without further adieu, we are over and out of here! Till next time!**

**~WolfsLegend**

**~Lupine-Beauty-**


	8. Chapter 8

**-Got a new part to our freakin' funny randomness, my peoples! I, WolfsLegend, was introducing Twilight Princess to one of my companions (doesn't own a FF account). They gave me some new ideas, pretty funny watching their reactions with some things. Especially when I slashed away at a chicken… :D They were going freaking insane… it was hilarious! Then they got all excited about getting to it for like six seconds… epic (yeah, Lupine and I use "epic"… so if you hate that word and you find it overused… get over it ^^). Now… away weee go!**

**Buuuut first we gotta do this whole junk…**

**You have been forewarned, this content is rated T for various reasons and contains spoilers for the Legend of Zelda game franchise. We take no responsibility for possible Tingle or Zant filled nightmares that you may obtain while reading this or our other chapter… that is all :)-**

* * *

**~Players' Corner (Inspired by Msfcatlover)~**

(Twilight Princess) Ilia tells you to blow on the conveniently horseshoe shaped grass when at the spring. She claims to like its sound. You comply and- a bit peeved that she stole your horse… the stalker…- snatch at a piece of grass and hesitantly exhale on the blade of grass (saying blow right here just sounds weird…). The sound is peaceful and you just want to sleep or sway randomly on your chair or whatever you're using to sit. Then… you freak out… because there's that rabid horse coming after you! Ah, we're all gonna die! No one told you or me about having to get ran over by a rabid crazy yet lovable and pretty and awesome and epic….. horse! Oh my for the love of golden chu jellies and crazy skullkids who are on crack!... Oh… wait… she's just coming to you because you sang a song she liked… Awww! How adorable!...

(Majora's Mask) You're like what… a G-rated kid? So of course when you play this, the first scene makes you have nightmares… especially that pedo mask salesman. Then comes the zombie people that get on top of you and rape you while you run around and scream when you really could be saving Link from said trauma of being raped by dead people. Then you get to know about Skullkid a little more and find that he is really just a crack-head kinda guy who misses his whacked up friends who like to jump randomly up in the sky now and then. Later on you actually notice the moon is freakin' weird, looks like the pedo mask salesman's brother. And just with every whacked up thing in this game… you are scarred for dear life! So… daaa daa daa daaaaaah…. Congratulations! You just received the infamous MM Trauma! It will never go away! (Just like that Tingle and Zant nightmare!) Don't you feel just so darn special! :D

(Twilight Princess) You're walking along with Epona, heading to the Mayor dude… WHOA? The dudes got tusks on his face? WTZFC (What the Zant freaking crap)! Oh, whoops, seems you had an ADDOSO (attention deficit disor- ooh shiny object!) moment. Anyway! You dismount Epona and skip over to that mayor dude while that stalker girl what's her face starts randomly flirting with YOUR horse (ouch, she thinks your horse is sexier than you I guess… sad day!). After she's flirting she turns around and screams at you and gets after you and then her father, brat. She points to Epona's leg and says that you hurt her… but you see NOTHING FREAKING THERE! Only when years pass as you play the game and this scene pops up do you notice that there is an itty bitty scratch across the leg… tiny… tiny… and almost Epona skin colored… really e-e

**~Scenes~**

Skyward Sword: Zelda Singing

_**Zelda:**_(sings)

_**Link:**_ (interrupts the beautiful song) Whoa! Om my goddesses, what the Zant freaking crap, Zelda!

_**Zelda: **_(stops beautiful song and playing of the harp) What Link, can't you see I'm trying to make people feel all warm and fluffy right now with my singing?

_**Link:**_ But it's just so beautiful! I thought all you were good for was getting kidnapped and creeping on me in my dreams!

_**Zelda: **_You know you're asking for a whole lot of hurt, Link?

_**Link: **_(glances around for a distraction) Oooh look, shiny! (pounces on nearby rupee) Dah dah dah daaaaah, I got a rupee!

_**Zelda: **_Link, you idiot, that's a chicken nugget.

_**Link:**_ (gives girly scream) A _chicken's_ nugget? Eeeewwww! 

_**Zelda: **_I said a _CHICKEN NUGGET_ you dress wearing transvestite, mute, buffoon, #**$(S-

((The following content is not suitable for any pairs of eyes…

And no chicken nuggets were harmed in the making of this scene))

Twilight Princess: Ilia, Link, and Epona's Scratch (what Ilia would like to say)

_**Link: **_But Ilia, it's just a scratch… if anything!

_**Ilia:**_ Yes but Link underneath that scratch is skin tissue and underneath that skin tissue is muscle and underneath that muscle is _bone_. That means you were two layers from killing Epona!

_**Link: **_It's a _scratch_.

_**Ilia: **_A scratch that could have cost Epona her life! What if the end of the world depended on one tiny scratch?

_**Link: **_Uh… guess we'd all die?

_**Ilia: **_E-x-a-c-t-l-y!

Twilight Princess: Blowing on Graaaass~

_**Ilia: **_Blow on the conveniently horseshoe shaped grass!

_**Link: **_Uh… no thank you? I don't like you like that, Illia… Heh… ^^;

_**Ilia: **_No you idiot! That, blow that! (points to conveniently horseshoe shaped grass)

_**Link: **_I'm not like that either, 'cause like they always say- Heroes don't do drugs!

_**Ilia:**_ (face palm) I ought to slap you so hard-…

_**Link: **_I told you, I don't like you like that!

Twilight Princess: What Ganondorf sings when you pause the game during the bad A boss fight (didn't feel like capitalizing letters ;P)

_**Ganon: **_Cat. I'm a kitty cat and I dance dance dance dance dance dance dance. Cat. I'm a kitty cat and I dance dance dance-

(fifty trillion kitty lyrics later)

_**Link: **_(commits suicide)

(Game Over :D)

Twilight Princess: Mailman's Thoughts

_**Link: **_Why do you dress weird?

_**Mailman: **_Why do you wear a skirt and have a weird creature riding on your back when you're a wolf?

_**Link: **_That's hurtful!

_**Mailman: **_And how come I mistook you for Rusl's wife or daughter or… mistook you for a woman in this game's first couple of scenes? Huh!

_**Link: **_How should I kno-… Hey!

_**Mailman: **_And I even thought Colin was your CHILD, your DAUGHTER!

Spirit Tracks: Link's Depression

_**Link: **_You know Zelda, I liked thinking you were dead. Like not breathing or speaking or nagging or something DEAD.

_**Ghost Zelda: **_W-h-a-t?

_**Link: **_You're even more annoying when dead- just as helpless, naggy, and stupid.

_**Ghost Zelda: **_Oh shut up! You wouldn't be like this if I were Midna!

_**Link: **_No because dead or alive, she's sexy.

_**Ghost Zelda: **_You only like her because she's partly nude!

_**Link: **_And isn't a damsel in distress, isn't naggy, and is shrouded in sexy mystery :D

_**Ghost Zelda: **_(slap)

_**Link: **_One good thing, you can't hurt me! That slap tickled –insert troll face here-

_**Ghost Zelda: **_(possess a dark knight)

_**Link: **_Oh shi-!


	9. Chapter 9

**-You have just been graced by the presence of lupine-beauty and wolfslegend… you should feel honored. Now, bow before our random tower of goodness :D**

**Please R&R-**

* * *

**~Player's Corner (Inspired by Msfcatlover)~**

(All Legend of Zelda games) Being the curious little sport that you are, you wannabe Hylian fan ;) , you wander onto Fanfiction, deviantART, and all those pretty little, _innocent_ sites to look at fanart. Such a curious soul, so pure despite the fact of always having that reoccurring nightmare of Zant and a stripper named Tingle… you search various characters from the Legend of Zelda game series… that is… until you start… searching characters because… well perhaps you just want to see a cool battle between Link and Dark Link. Perhaps an artist on deviantART has one? The curious, nut-brain that you are you search and… commit to having a nosebleed before practically dying right there BAM on your chair. This fanart… not what you were really looking for at the moment… But… it's better then that stripper named Ting-… never mind… you found an art piece of that too so… you probably ARE dead now… poor, curious little soul. .

(Ocarina of Time) After playing Wind Waker and Majora's Mask ( you're a bit out of order in playing LoZ huh?) you decide to play Ocarina of Time. Of course, right when you find Malon… you hate her puny, cute little guts. She calls you fairy boy! Really? Come on, just because you're wearing a green skirt and have pointy elf ears dose not mean you're a fairy. Seriously, are all the weirdos on crack or something! Didn't we just go through this with Tingle? Oh for the love of whacked up moons and skull kids stuck on catnip… this is going to be a loooooong game.

(Twilight Princess) Immediately upon playing the game and entering the first cut-scene, you begin to comment on the game. Like okay, you really hope that Link isn't that weird guy talking. Obviously he's old and his hair doesn't match… no elf ears that you can see from these angles. Then it pans onto the next introduced character. Curious you lean in on the screen, squinting your eyes as if that would help you get a better look. Obviously this second character is a girl so it can't be Lin-…. Oh….. wow…. So that's Link…

(Phantom Hourglass) And you thought Navi was annoying? Oh boy, now you're really fuming. Now you have to hang around some lousy 'captain' who can't do anything right except talk/complain/whine/breathe you to death. For the love of Ordon Goat Cheese why can't we just kill him! He's worse then Tetra's oh so bad (more like fluffy and innocent… like little kittens without claws and teeth) pirate crew and that dumb butt owl Kaepora Gaebora… okay maybe not that bad but it's close man, it's close!

**~Scenes~**

Four Swords: Links and Fashion

_**Green: **_Say, why do we wear skirts?

_**Red: **_To get the ladies burning obviously!

_**Blue:**_ No you idiot, it's because the original Hero of Time was a freak _and_ liked the feeling of freedom.

_**Green: **_I thought we just did that because… skirts are cool…

_**Vio: **_I know I do!

_**Red & Blue: **_No one asked for your opinion Vio!

_**Green: **_It's better then being naked like Navi and Midna.

_**Red: **_True true, but man is Midna hot hot hot!

_**Blue: **_Navi's kind of sexy.

_***all Links fall silent and look to Blue***_

_**Blue: **_Not that… I would know… Oooh look, a flower! *he gestures to a random directions and then runs away in the opposite route*

All Legend of Zelda: Partners? (Inspired by FF user luvrofpokemon)

_**Link**_**:** *he stalks away from his beloved game partners and looks at Zelda* Hey Zel, which one of my annoying partners do you like the best? *he asks while gesturing to the corner of the room where Fi, Navi, Linebeck, and Midna are quarreling over a lonesome chicken nugget*

_**Zelda: **_*she crosses her arms, tapping her chin with a stray finger as if in deep thought* Me.

_**Link:**_ What? Pffft, are you serious!

_**Zelda: **_What? What do you mean what?

_**Link:**_ Well, you are a hothead and all you do is get your butt kidnapped _all_ the freaking time. Sometimes I wonder if you just want to get kidnapped by Ganon because you know he'll take any gir-…

_**Zelda: **_Midna, Midna okay! *she shouts frantically, gesturing to the still quarreling partners*

_**Navi: **_*tiring over the quarrel since none of the partners seem fascinated in listening to her useless information of what the chicken nugget is made out of, she turns to Link and Zelda's conversation and feels rather hurt but still… she has some useless and already acknowledged information about arguing! (that it's bad for the soul AND the chicken nugget… poor muffin)* Hey~…

_**Zelda: **_*spins around like a demon from hell and jabs a finger in Navi's direction* Shut. Up!

_**Navi:**_ … Listeeeen.

_**Zelda:**_ *angry already, Zelda jumps forth and assaults the poor, stupid little fairy to the ground* Shuddap!

_**Fi:**_ Master, there is a ninety-nine percent chance that the fairy will be eradicated by the princess.

_**Link:**_ *bored by the whole ordeal he begins to pick at his left ear, glancing to Fi momentarily to notice that she has also given up on the quarrel over the chicken nugget* Heh? Oh, yeah I know.

_**Linebeck:**_ Mwhahahaha! Now die in despair you little weakling for I, the great captain of the Hyrulean seas has just vanquished you all for this lovely chicken nugget! *holds up muffin in triumph*

_**Midna:**_ *feeling extremely pissed that she lost to a spineless little whelp…* You son of a f*#k!2%#)0jf3jljhvhjsdfadfs!*$

**this scene is no longer appropriate for your already delusional brain**

Ocarina of Time: Saria Says Goodbye to Link

_**Saria:**_ Link, I want you to have this and-… *she hands Link her treasured Ocarina, the blasted fairy boy interrupting her well-thought out monologue*

_**Link:**_ What the flip is this? *he asks while holding the treasured Ocarina in mid-air* A bong? Saria, I knew you were whacked up but seriously… I didn't know you used _these_!

_**Saria:**_ Ergh! Link, I hope you die! *she screams, taking back her Ocarina and running off to the rest of the Kokiris that are crying over a dead log (Great Deku Tree :D)*

_**Magical Text:**_ Oh great, look what you did you cross dresser, now you'll have to start ALL over from the beginning.

_**Link:**_ It looks like a bong! How am I not supposed to be freaking out over that?

_**Magical Text:**_ You drink suspicious milk that could have alcoholic contents in it, you have to hang around four… FOUR pedo-bear creeps: Ghirahim, Vaati, Linebeck, Zant, and that creepy mask salesman; you help children get weapons to kill monkeys with, AND-…

_**Link:**_ Hate to interrupt your lecture or whatever but it's five not four.

_** Magical Text:**_ These bases are belong to us! Now shuddap!

Twilight Princess: Gorons… :)

_**Midna's Thoughts:**_ Oh my cursed form… buff naked guys in loin cloths… I'm in heaven~

_**Link:**_ Heeeeey, what you all doin'?

_**Goron to the left of the room:**_ Nothin' what 'bout you? How you doin'?

_**Link:**_ Nothin' but oh hey did you hear about what Sheila said this morning to that one guy?

_**Midna's Thoughts:**_ … This… is not heaven… this is a whacked up brothel of cross dressers! Dang it, next time I'm going to pick a hero who doesn't look like a girl! Wait… maybe this guy, Link, isn't a guy….. Dammit!

Phantom Hourglass: Golden Froggies

_**Linebeck:**_ *le gasp moment as he heads over to the stern of the ship* Lookie look it's flying bags of flesh made of gold. Gold!

_**Link:**_ It's just a jumping frog. It's not flyi-…

_**Linebeck:**_ Hush, you're spoiling the mood kid. Now be a good boy and shoot it down for me.

_**Link:**_ *he shrugs his shoulders and takes aim at the canon that couldn't possibly be held up by this minute ship… well who knows but anyway…* DIE die die die!

_**Golden Frogs That Imitate Cuccos:**_ *the canon ball easily hits the jumping golden frog which makes it plain pissed off which means… sudden apocalyptic horde of flying and jumping golden froggies of death coming out of nowhere to create a GAME OVER like a boss and etc…. so… yeah, you just died from golden frogs who jump like rodents with wings (squirrels :D)*

* * *

**-Wow, you know this FF has like 3,000 hits? This and Twisted Light ( I don't see how o.o… also to those who read it, I'm changing the plot to where it should have gone so if you're a fan of it then please read Degradation's Legend instead… thank you!) are the top viewed on my profile. I feel special! Thanks all of you! Lupine and I really are sorry about our slow updates and all. Half the time I, WolfsLegend, am the one creating the chapters. Lupine helps as much as she can (she has dial-up ^^;) but with life and all it's pretty strenuous. I'll try and get this updated faster and etc.**

**If you ever have any ideas/suggestions feel free to leave me a PM or review here :) also, if you ever have FAQs for Lupin and I feel free to ask away at that too.**

**Has anyone taken note to our more detailed/narrative actions in the scenes (please do tell if you prefer that over the original descriptions of the actions)? I personally hate stories that are written like this in script format; however, with parodies and such I find it not as bad. We started out with script-like writing and will probably continue with it.**

**Anyway, till next time!**

**~WolfsLegend and Lupine-beauty-**

**Fun Trivia: The document that is used for Random Game Thoughts is now 35 pages, each chapter actually takes up to an hour or more (if reality stuff is in the way it's a lot more...) to finish (we come up with tiny little ideas and go from there half the time), and in the beginning of April to present time we have had members/visitors from the following countries: Australia, Republic of Kora, and United State of America, Canada, Ireland, United Kingdom, New Zealand, Thailand, Netherlands, Germany, and China: view our Random Game Thoughts. Wow, you all are so dang awesome :D  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**- _You have been forewarned, this content is rated T for various reasons and contains spoilers for the Legend of Zelda game franchise. We take no responsibility for possible Tingle or Zant filled nightmares that you may obtain while reading this._**

**Whaaat, another chapter so soon? Mwhahahaha :D (we are slowly taking over the world \(^o^)/ ). That reminds me, Lupine and I also made another short story collaboration of a scene from Twilight Princess (what if Zant's cursed relic hit its target, Midna… what would've happened?) and it's called Bloody Madness. Please do take a gander at it though you have been warned, it contains violence/gore and just plain sadness. Now please R&R :)**

**But first check this-**

**(From Lupine-Beauty, Doctor Who and Twilight Princess) _Friend:_ They're all so pale over there, they'll keep captain pale dudes as a doctor until a ginger comes along… a ginger black guy! **

**_Lupine:_ Eeeewwww…. Wait Ganondorf! **

_**Friend:**_** Mother of god you're right… **_Ganondorf is the new doctor, hail!_

**(Now imagine Ganondorf in a fez with a sonic screwdriver… wicked awesome).-**

* * *

**~Player's Corner (Inspired by Msfcatlover)~**

(Twilight Princess) –made this as well as other TP Corners just for you Sparkie ;), we took what you told us and created the following- You lean back, acting all cocky since you have someone to show off your wicked playing skills (your granny). However… you falter... the Redeads and skeletons and monsters of evilness are coming… (well there was that one time with Tingle but you thank the Goddesses that he's not in THIS game *sigh of relief*) and you are freaked out man, freaked out! So what do you do? Tell your granny that you want them to learn how to fend of zombies when the apocalypse comes so they'll be prepared (Master Swords are better then chainsaws and shovels my peoples!). In the end you know darn well you're a fan of Legend of Zelda if the skeletons and Redeads creep you out so much that your poor old granny has to suffer and kick their butts for you. Poor old, defenseless woman… she's going to have more nightmares from now on then you will! But at least she's now prepared for a zombie apocalypse, good job you freaked out person you!

(Twilight Princess) You're sitting quietly and- surprisingly- innocently in your very own room with your family just right out the door. Your sibling and his friends are with you, not what you are desiring but eh… as long as they don't cramp your style. Anyway you talk to Midna and all of a sudden… your sibling and his little friends start focusing on the Midna Speak. Oh dear Lord hear it comes! Just as you feared, your parents hear it too… and punish you for "cussing". Of course if you told them that you were playing Twilight Princess and just talking to your partner, Midna, they would no doubt take the game from you and scold you for blaming in inanimate object for your potty mouth. Not your fault that Midna told Link, "I have a big A$!..." when really her butt is the size of your fist-… not that… you would know…

(Wind Waker) The first thing that creeps you out is that the boat can actually _speak_! Makes you want to make Toon Link open that things mouth open to see if it ate someone, seriously! Even from that you can't help but be baffled at just how odd the crazy, man-eating boat looks. What kind of boat has a lion's moveable head attached to it? Speaking of which that head must be pretty strong to carry your butt, a magical sail that pops out of nowhere, and a canon that also pops out of nowhere. Wait, if it could do that then why do YOU have to be the cone to control it? If it can speak, move, and make items come out of its end then why can't it just take you to places and make you food and kick Ganon's butt for you? Man, that'd be the life. Then again, this boat is a bit better then Navi but you still can't help but feel odd (for all we know it might be craving you for dinner next time… stupid man-eating but) riding in a boat that talks, has funky eyebrows, and apparently yawns and eats little children (and don't forget elderly people!... –so that's where Grandma Link went!-).

* * *

**~Scenes~**

Twilight Princess: Midna Speak

_**Midna:**_ I have a big ass.

_**Link:**_ *sighs for the thirteenth time before giving a nonchalant nod* Yes Midna, you already said that. Now can you please teleport me to Ordon!

_**Midna: **_Go fix the radio!

_**Link:**_ *exasperated by her weird dialect and word usage he high-fives his face, not at all patient at the moment* What the heck is a freaking radio? Midna! Just teleport me to Ordon!

_**Midna:**_ You're too close now! Just do it!

_**Link:**_ *he pauses, extremely confused… unless…* Wait, did you just say….. *he pauses again, stifling a mischievous smile* fine by me!

_**Midna:**_ You're too close doggie. Drink Timmy's spit!

_**Link:**_ *now that right there confuses Link entirely, making him forget Midna's last dirty comment… or at least he figured it was meant for the dirty woo-hoo…* What the heck is a Timmy! Urgh! Midna, speak properly!

_**Midna: **_e-e…. Bread, go die in a hole so I kill you later tomorrow.

Skyward Sword: Boys in the Yard (based of a Meme)

_**Ghirahim:**_ *he pops in with a flurry of sparkly diamonds with nothing but a freaked out expression stuck on his pale features* M-Master, the boys are back!

_**Demise:**_ *he glances away from Link, a hero who he is presently intent on killing… so of course he is rather annoyed by his weapon stopping the fight… man this had better be good!* What boys, where are they?

_**Ghirahim:**_ In the yard!

_**Link:**_ *overhearing this, our beloved hero drops his sword in surprise, mentally swearing as he speaks-*Ah crap, my milkshakes!

Skyward Sword: I Need An Adult!

_**Ghirahim:**_ *licks Link*

_**Link: **_*screams* RAPE raaaaape, I need an adult, raaaape!

_**Ghirahim:**_ *stops licking Link* What do I look like to you, a fabulous stripping Debbie? I'm an adult!

_**Link: **_I need another adult!

_**Tingle: **_Fairy boy I-!

_**Link: **_Rape!

*note, fans of Ghirahim called him the fabulous Debbie before the game was finished and was able to buy and etc.*

Wind Waker: Meeting Tingle *dun dun duuun*

_**Link:**_ *he frolics about the island, stumbling across a prison cell. Extremely curious as to what this cell may dare contain, he goes in farther into the prison building which oddly only holds one criminal. Before really noticing the green blob atop a stool Link can't help but wonder, it's going to suck if they have another criminal- no doubt they'll run out of room and stuff…* Hello?

_**Green Blob:**_ *the green blob straightens, looking out the cell bars to the speaker. For a moment he is silent as if deciding if you are indeed there talking to _him_ and not Teddy the rat that also inhabits his cell* Green… clothes… green hat… sun bathed locks of hair… sky eyes…

_**Link:**_ *this is just a bit weird having your appearance be spoken aloud in detail, okay it's more then weird… Link is perturbed.* Uh, may I help you?

_**Disturbing Green Blob:**_ Oh yes Mr. Fairy! Thank you so much for gracing me with your presence! *he exclaims, jumping from his perch on the stool and dancing about the cell. _**Link:**_ *from these actions Link is able to note that this weird guy is indeed not a blob… but… yet… his appearance is still _very_ disturbing…*

_**Pedophile Five Year Old Acting Man in Tights: **_If you would do me a big favor I'll give you a map to a useless treasure but to get it it'll cost you five hundred rupees! *he smiles a sickening smile* And give you some candy!

_**Link: **_*this man is obviously dangerous and annoying (why else would they put him behind bars?). Not wanting anything else to do with this man you run off, exiting the prison without delay. As you do so you can't help but think, what kind of reward is that to have to buy it… and… man… Link really wanted that candy!*

Phantom Hourglass: Whacked up Sister in the Phantom Ship

_**Whacked up Sister: **_Can I give you a hug? *she asks, holding a rusty knife lovingly to her chest*

_**Link:**_ N-no thank you 'cause you see I'm-I'm-I don't like germs and cooties and stuff. *he responds, entirely desiring to just chop this weird, deranged kid right then and there. He had forgotten on the fact of why on the land of Hyrule and the seven seas had he helped her… her first time of almost chopping his head off by accidentally falling on top of him when a Dark Knight appeared to chase him off was not his first clue to tell him something was up with this girl*

_**Whacked up Sister with a Knife:**_ But I love you, you're so kind! Don't you want to play with me!

_**Link:**_ *flat out-* No.

_**Whacked up Sister with a Knife:**_ Awww, someone really needs a hug!

_**Link:**_ You know what? Flip you! *angered Link swings his sword, the blade cutting right through that monster of a woman only when she falls to the ground in her own pool of blood does Link relax and actually smile* Much better. Now, where the heck is Tetra… oh, here we are!

Legend of Zeldas: Ganondorf and the Internet (based off a picture we found)

_**Phantom Zant: **_My Lord, if you would just Google ways of killing of the Hero and Princess then you might just actually beat this game. *Zant sighs, watching as Ganon storms about the castle floor in wait for the hero and his partner*

_**Ganon:**_ Never! *he growls, twirling about in his wee little cape*

_**Phantom Zant:**_ Even for the game? I see you staying up late at night trying to beat it, face it my Lord you fail at even being a Hero on a Gamecube!

_**Ganon:**_ Do you want to die?

_**Phantom Zant: **_For the love of-… My Lord I'm _already_ dead! Now can we please get back to the original question that I apparently dared to utter?

_**Ganon:**_ *sighs as he takes a hand to his forehead, the headache no longer desiring to subside* Fine, I don't go on the internet because there are too many links.

_**Phantom Zant:**_ Too many… links….? Seriously. Seriously!

* * *

**~And "Oldie" Scene/Player's Corner (one of our faves from the past chapters)~**

Midna is floating in front of Link while Link stares at the sky (this has been edited from the original ;) )

_**Midna:**_ *feeling overly giddy Midna can't help but turn to Link and-* Eee hee!

_**Link:**_ *the beloved hero turns, truly surprised by the sudden giggle… well not just surprised- the poor soul is extremely freaked out by it (it resembles so much of a psycho killer person man!)* What the crap did you do that for?

_**Midna**_: *since it's a habit of hears to randomly throw a giggle here and there, she is of course confused…* What are you talking about?

_**Link:**_ Your giggling is creeping me out!

_**Midna:**_ Eee hee? *she repeats, this time studying Link harder*

_**Link:**_ Ah! Stop it! Its creepy! *he backs up, waving his hands in the air as if to prove his dislike*

_**Minda:**_ *she nods, as if understanding but sadly she's done nothing of the sort and gives him one of her famous smiles* Eee hee hee! Eee hee!

_**Link:**_ Ah! *he runs to the nearest wall, so terrified and angry by the constant giggles that he ends up bashing head to the wall. Man was this a horrible day and to top it off Midna wouldn't shut up!*

_**Navi:**_ *Popping randomly out of nowhere and feeling that she should explain to Link what the action of bashing his head into the wall would do to his brain she speaks-*Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey! Listen! Link lis-…

_**Link:**_ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *he screams, blood flying everywhere. Now he is extremely pissed. (Great, who let Navi in here!) Feeling the desire to be free of the annoying Navi and the freaky Midna he runs to the edge of the cliff and jumps, praying that if he lives through this he's going to report a complaint to the Goddesses… these partners are just getting freakier and annoying by the second! *

_**Navi**_: *just a bit confused, Navi flutters over to Midna* Am I that annoying?

_**Original~**_

~~Scene: Midna is floating in front of Link while Link stares at the sky.

Midna: Eee hee!

Link: *jumps* What the crap did you do that for?

Midna: *gives a confused look* What are you talking about?

Link: Your giggling is creeping me out!

Midna: Eee hee?

Link: Ah! Stop it! Its creepy!

Minda: *gives him one of her famous smiles* Eee hee hee! Eee hee!

Link: Ah! *bashes head against a wall and bleeds to death*

(at least her giggles are better than Navi's Hey Listens!)

Navi: Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey Listen! Hey! Listen!

Link: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *runs to the edge of a cliff and jumps off*

Navi: *tear drop* Am I that annoying? :'(

* * *

**-I find it fascinating how much Lupine and I have progressed just from stuff like this so I thought I might as well share our enjoyment with you all. Quite humoring to see a past favorite of ours on more of the recent chapters :) also it's fun editing them!**

**Have any ideas/suggestions for scenes/Player's Corner that you have yet to see? Then please do land us a Review! Or simply tell us what you thought. Even land us some questions for a FAQ. Anything will do ^.^**

**Fun Trivia: Player's Corner is actually the easiest of Random Game Thoughts to do, Scenes are a bit harder.- **


	11. Chapter 11

**((I could have sworn that I had added this chapter already... weird...))  
**

**-**_**You have been forewarned, this content is rated T for various reasons and contains spoilers for the Legend of Zelda game franchise. We take no responsibility for possible Tingle or Zant filled nightmares that you may obtain while reading this.**_

**Updated, wooo!... the world must really be coming to an end!... Yay :D Anyway, we appreciate the reviews, faves, and alerts on our collaborated fanfiction. Makes us feel like we have kitties in our belly (that sounds slightly creepy o-o)! Before we begin, I would like to respond to our latest Reviews:**

_**catherineblythe15:**__ I love the manga LoZ novels. They equally amuse me as much as these game insights do hehe :D I find all this random-ness super funny and somewhat dead on accurate for all the crazy shenanigans that happen in LoZ games, like the  
super creepy redeads or Midna's creeptastic laugh. Also, I totally know about  
the the random tiles in LttP. They suck! Haha please keep posting, I think  
this is such an accurate description of any LoZ gamer's mind who has any sense  
of humor._

_**Re:**__ Oh man, don't even get us started on the LoZ manga (we love it to death ^-^)! Thanks so much, good to know that Lupine and I aren't just whacked up in the head (there are much more whacked up people just like us in the world :'D). _

_**Sparkie:**__LOL! My bro still copies what Midna says... There is a real type of cactus called a$$ cactus and I tried to show it to granny but forgot to type in the cactus part... Midna and the cactus are mine and granny's secrets... There's a glitch to make the post man fall of the cliff in TP! Midna once told me that biscuits and shapes go nice with juice and Katie is getting married! I'm invited to the wedding! Then she said "I don't car  
b!tçh£$ Type "Midna says a bad word" into youtube! If ya ever get bored watch Zelda madness! There are about eighteen and they might give you ideas! Redeads are scary! Have you ever let a cat thing of skyward sword kill you because they are soooo  
cute coz I have! (:_

_**Re:**__ I've heard of the glitch with the postman before as well as one that makes you walk on walls X) and get Epona stuck in front of Fado's house in that ledge hill thing-y… I've yet to try them, not sure about Lupine though. We've done a lot of that in the past even before this fanfiction was made :) and I'm the only one (Lupine has dial-up internet ;P) who has seen the Zelda Madness. We do take a gander at fellow gamer's whacked up manga, series, animations, and etc. of Legend of Zelda humor but even so we try our best to make our own, unique humor. We don't want to use content that someone has thought up and stuff, if we do it's from permission (like a few chapters back, I believe, we have a scene based off a manga one of my deviantART friends made). Reminds though, I have yet to finish Zelda Madness XD and I have yet to show it to Lupine (least I think she hasn't seen it… can't remember). Thanks for your review Sparkie, till next time!_

_**xxxAceBlade: RE:**_ Lol! I love it! Of course, we'll change it :) Thanks so much (it's okay, you're not the only one ^^;… you should watch me play Halo…)!

**We greatly appreciate the Reviews/Suggestions/Comments/Etc.! Thanks so much :D Now, onward to insanity! Ah but on a quick side note, I find it humoring stupid errors I do here and there… thanks for not pointing them out (I find it rude for people to do such a thing unless I/someone asked them to do it). Funny too because I'm the one who edits this and I always skip over the most obvious errors XD Sorry!-**

**~Player's Corner (Inspired by Msfcatlover)~**

(Skyward Sword) Funny how you act all big and bad, feeling like you're the Boss of Legends on Legend of Zelda… that is… until you reach the part where that adorable cat that you helped find (stupid cat monkey mouse thing!) turns on you. At first you can't help but go, "awwwwww!" but then… it turns around and assaults you. How rude! Nevertheless its cuteness deserves another chorus of your "awwwwww"s and only when you die do you slam your itty bitty Wii controller on the floor from exasperation. How dare that mouse, monkey, cat, lemur thing kill you when you saved its butt and gave it mercy! You pause a moment, staring at the game over screen, a sick smile replaced your anger. Eee hee hee… revenge… sweet, lovely revenge! So you go back, continuing the game and THIS time you are able to make it fall off the cliff. You can't help but laugh evilly at your success as you throw a string of insults/taunts to the screen. Too bad for you, that cat abomination of cuteness kills you yet again (who knew cats with fluffy ears could fly like that :D).

(Wind Waker) You know you feel loved when all you have to do is drag a bunch of pigs to the fat old lady who lives up a hill to get rupees. Talk about awesome and feeling successful at the life of Toon Link-ness! Well, until you learn the dark truth from the snot-nose kid who gets neglected from the fat lady and his twig dad- you figured this since they never wipe his snot dripping nose… man that kids so freaking annoying with his snot…- when he blabbers and the fat lady starts getting all nervous. Turns out… they're just plain evil. Man, they ATE the pigs you so carefully and lovingly kidnapped and dragged to their pen! ATE them… probably ate them ALIVE! How heartless! Now, let's get out of there before the fat lady decides to have you on the menu. *shiver*

**~Scenes~**

Twilight Princess: The Iron Boots (inspired by xxxAceBlade)

_**Link: **_*he hesitates as he glares down at the hole that will lead him to his next deat-… mean… boss fight. It's not hard to see that he is indeed feeling uneasy. He had heard rumors of this boss being a bad A$$ once before so… of course he was freaking nervous! As if to prove this he sits on the edge of the hole, sighing as he shuffles through his magical belt pouch that is apparently made up of a void… how else would he be able to fit all that crap in there!*

_**Midna: **_*having known of his weird actions before, she doesn't find this surprising that he's even being slow for preparing a boss fight still… it's unnerving, why can't he just hurry up! Angered she pops out of his shadows and gives him a good glare of her own* What are you doing you idiot? Hurry up, we've got a boss to exterminate, a kingdom to save, an outcast world made up of mute blob people, get my hot bod back, and just a bunch of crap… yet you're there SITTING on your butt. W-What are you even doing! *she exclaims, flailing her arms about*

_**Link:**_ *Link glances up, not at all surprised by Midna's anger. Rather, he finds it slightly humoring… her tantrum reminds him of a rabid Chihuahua, how cute!* What's it look like I'm doing! *he asks, pulling out his trusty, rusty iron boots*

_**Midna:**_ Letting Hyrule _die_.

_**Link:**_ No idiot, I'm putting on my iron boots.

_**Midna:**_ Oh for the love of-…. *she sighs, placing a hand on her forehead as if trying to rid her of the annoyance* Why? Why in the world do you need those, seriously.

_**Link:**_ Well since there is water all over this temple I'm assuming there's gonna be some down there too and I really don't feel like swimming right now so I'll just be lazy and put these on and besides according to the map that took forever to find- oh, when we get over this remind me to push the architect of this temple down a flight of stairs… seriously, I hate these freakin' water temples!-… it says that theres a boss down there-

_**Midna: **_Nah dipstick!

_**Link:**_ Anyway! If the boss is just chilling down there then maybe… maybe I can just squish him.

_**Midna:**_ Hyrule and my realm are officially doomed. *she sighs, staring up at the ceiling as if a magical wish to get a new and smarter hero will pop up there* Why must my hero be a sissy when it comes to boss fights?

_**Link:**_ *after finally shoving his feet in the hard metal boots he gives a groan* Darn it! Put them on the wrong feet _again_.

_**Midna: **_Are. You. Kidding. Me! You're sexually frustrated AND directionally challenged!

Wind Waker: Questions for Grandma 

_**Link:**_ Grandma, why does your soup make me all healthy and energized and stuff? Is it crack?

_**Grandma:**_ Crack… well it's soup… I don't think a bowl of soup's surface could have any cracks like a piece of wood could and-…

_**Link:**_Grandma, how come you and Aryll never exist in the other games?

_**Grandma: **_Well it all has to do with-…

_**Link: **_Grandma, why does the size of two of me make up your size? Does that mean you're a dwarf? Then… will I grow up to be a dwarf?!

_**Grandma: **_No, it skips a generation; it came from your grandfather's side of-…

_**Link: **_Grandma is Aryll mentally chall-…

_**Pissed Off Grandma:**_ Would you hush! I can't take it anymore! Enough!

_**Link:**_ *he hesitantly takes a step back* Sorry Grandma…. Hey Grandma.

_**Grandma:**_ *she sighs, feeling extremely exhausted and irritated* This better not be another question… what is it?

_**Grandma: **_ What's your real name? Am I adopted? Are you dating Ganondorf?

Twilight Princess: Piranha 

_**Link:**_ *he falls into the water and immediately upon impact shrieks, literally beginning to claw at the water as he dash-swims to the nearest ledge. Only when he reaches it, safely out of the stagnant water does he give a brisk sigh of relief. Ah but it isn't over yet, he takes out his clawshot and begins to shoot it randomly at the water all the while swinging his sword at any vile little fish he brings up from it.*

_**Midna:**_ *becoming extremely tired of this dungeon and Link's stupidity she pops up from his shadow with minute arms crossed* What, pray tell, are you doing? *she groans, fearing for the worst response to be given- an answer of stupidity obviously*

_**Link:**_ It's Piranhas, Midna, Piranhas!

_**Midna:**_ *she sighs, annoyed at how Link seems to freak over every little thing: rats, deku babas, phantom Zant hands, Redeads, and now… Piranhas* Here's an idea, you idtiot, go back up the vines and follow switch where the stairs end so we can get out of here.

_**Link:**_ No *he whines*, I wanna look around first. And… I'm bored and these Piranhas are really awesome. Reminds me… I wanna catch one!

_**Midna:**_ For the love of-! Do you realize what is at stake here if _you_ DIE or if _we_ LOSE!

_**Link:**_ So what if there won't be another Legend of Zelda game. Though, they might finally make a Legend of _Me_ (Link) game. Man that'd be so cool! And they could give me a mustache and give my sword a mustache and-

_**Midna:**_ That's not the point!

_**Link:**_ Okay fine you can have a mustache too but I at least want a beard with mine and-… oooh look I caught one!

**~And "Oldie" Scene/Player's Corner (one of our faves from the past chapters)~**

Wind Waker: The Great… Deku… Tree…

_**Link:**_ *after ridding the gigantic tree of the cute little jellies… man do they make you hungry just staring at them!... Link shifts his attention to the gigantic tree. For a moment he acts like a good boy and listens but soon falls bored and begins to stare intently at the talking tree (first of all, he's never seen a talking tree in his life!) and notices something quite horrific…* I thought you were supposed to look like a diety or something.

_**Great Deku Tree:**_ *a bit perturbed to be interrupted of his oh so great tale he looks down at the little elf-* What do you mean child?

_**Link:**_ *flatly-* I mean that you look like some idiot who tried to carve a tree into something that resembled a manly baby.

_**Ugly-Baby Deku Tree:**_ *he gasps, smiling great big as if desiring to show off his ugly appearance even more* How did you know!? Wow you must be really smart!

_**Link:**_ *twitches*

ooooooooooooooooo

_**Original~**_

~Wind Waker and the Great… Deku… Tree…~

(Link stares up at the Great Deku Tree, totally not hearing what the tree is talking about)

Link: "I thought you were supposed to look like some deity or something."

Great Deku Tree: "What do you mean child?"

Link: "I mean that you look like a some idiot who tried to carve a tree into something that resembled a human!"

Great Deku Tree: "How did you know!? Wow you must be really smart!"

(Link twitches)

**I seriously could have sworn that I updated this with this part...**

**Fun fact: Lupine and I at first decided to make this be a rant about some stuff we were disappointed in and etc. Like how Demise looks like Ganondorf, how Ganondorf's name sounds like... well... not so scary or powerful... I mean come on "DORF" Ganon is awesome but Ganondorf? That just makes even children die laughing. Over the first few chapters of this we got more into the comical side as well as hinting our dislikes throughout it :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**-**_** You have been forewarned, this content is rated T for various reasons and contains spoilers for the Legend of Zelda game franchise. We take no responsibility for possible Tingle or Zant filled nightmares that you may obtain while reading this.**_

**Good Golden Goat of Ordon, I was sure that I had uploaded this already o-o Daaaaaayum, I'm so behind!  
**

**Note to you peoples: throwing the pretty kitty of Skyloft's edge during the nighttime DOES indeed make you a sadist! So in the future do try and steer clear of meeting UltimateOtakuGirl100 in Skyloft (or she might just throw YOU off too….. or Lupine and I will…. Either way…. \(^w^)/ )**

**I know what you're thinking, "Okay they are on a roll, especially Wolfs but sooner or later right after this (last) chapter POOF Lupine and her just vanish…. Just like that!" I'm tryin' so no judgin' meh! Hurts my wee little feelings (oh and Lupine's too :D). Now we're off to see Hyrule**

**Lol, you can tell what we've been playing recently by the majority of the scenes XD**

**4 Pages of humor for you! We're hoping to reach above that next time.~ -**

* * *

**~Player's Corner (Inspired by Msfcatlover)~**

(Twilight Princess) Let's face it, you suck at the Cave of Ordeals. Yes you do the smart thing and stock up on everything that you have: fairies, bombs, arrows, and all that fun stuff but then once you get to the "cave"? POOF. Everything…. Gone (like magic!). Of course that level with the Redeads wasn't ALL your fault since you really didn't want to see what Redeads do on Link in this game *shivers*.

(Majora's Mask) You're gettin' really into the game now. Hoppin' about like a pro over poisonous water in the Deku Palace… then… the bell chimes to tell you the day's changing and you start screaming like a little school girl. First off, that was freaking scary! Secondly, YOU WERE SO CLOSE!... Oh well, pop out your Song of Time… well, after you calm down with your freaking out (your fault for not paying attention to the time which is in such an obvious place: at the mid-bottom of your screen!).

(Twilight Princess) You're freaking out man, freaking out! You're out of bombs, hearts in bottles, and blasted fairies and you're stuck (I repeat) STUCK in the cave of ordeals. You're almost done, you can feel it even smeeeeell it BUT… one thing stops you from dragging Link to the next level… The Postman. You talk to him and he basically tells you how he thinks he's lost, has no clue how he got there, or what he's doing… so as you continue on to the next level you gain a little bit more of respect for this guy. Daaaaang, he's probably the most badass NPC of all time!

(Majora's Mask) You're minding your own business, running around and invading people's personal space when you run into a group of kids and talk to them. They then proceed to mock you… basically calling you a short, ugly tree… and MAN does that piss you off! Those little-… do they not get what you've been through?! You've went through puberty already, had to turn back into a kid, and dear Goddesses the list could go on for twenty-five years! That's it… time to find a Redead, tame it, call it Dixie, and let it rap-… feas-… hug… yeah hug… these twerps. Let them have an idea of what you've been through (then again… having a dead mummy rape… I mean hug… them wouldn't let them experience all that you've went through… yep, might as well add Ganondorf, Tingle, and Ghira in the mix to "hug" them to bits. That'll show them, punky a$$ kids!)

_(Lupine and I would more then love to own a Redead and name it Dixie….. Majora's Mask Redeads especially…)_

(Twilight Princess) You are really starting to hate golden statues with cats on their head named Giovanni right now. You found the first desired number of cute little Poe Souls but it turns out… only the cat was saved. Truthfully, you'd rather just leave it be but Giovanni and the cat… you can't help but be curious of what your prize might be for saving them (yep, real hero right there!). So you find the rest… 'cept like… oh I don't know… FIVE Souls! Angered you give up and look up walkthrough after walkthrough yet still miss the same FIVE Souls after running around Hyrule a number of times to no avail despise going everywhere the walkthroughs suggest. Nothing. Zip! Now… we know you fail at life but this is just sad! It's five stinking souls, count 'em! Five yet no matter where you go you can't find the blasted, giggly things. Ah, but no worries… the prize isn't all that great anyways… it's a freaking rupee… and a whiney Giovanni… so yeah, maybe keeping him as a butt-ugly, magical, golden talking statue isn't all bad. _(A/N: Poor Wolfslegend….)_

(Majora's Mask) No matter how you think it… the wannabe wizard guy in the observatory… suspicious. He plays with little kids and lets them look at his "telescope"… on second thought… nah… nothing suspicious. Definitely nothing that would involve poor, innocent, defenseless, naïve little children!

**~Scenes~**

Twilight Princess: Magical Golden Armor… No Refund…

_**Link: **_FINALLY, after two hours of gameplay I've finally got enough Rupees to get the Magical Golden Armor of Goodness! *ecstatic, Link runs to Castle Town's very own Malo Mart*

_**Midna: **_Two hours. Two hours that we wasted! Hyrule is definitely doomed if you're its…

_**Link: **_*buys the armor and puts it on only to have the armor stay shiny and golden for a minute and then… turn all heavy and not-sparkly* Ah! No no no no no no no! My life is coming to an end! No! Not my golden baby, anything but this!

_**Midna: **_Can't even get a refund on the stupid thing. Idiot! We could be slaying Zant or Ganon but nooooo, you had to get a stupid Rupee sucking armor that wouldn't last a minute in a freaking battle because you'd be stomping around like a buffoon that you are!

_**Link: **_No wonder it's dead… Midna, you killed it!

_**Midna: **_For the love of-… just go attack a blade of grass for a Rupee and you'll find out yourself.

_**Link: **_*does so and gets on whole Rupee (yay!), armor turns gold for a second and then dies again* Yaaa-….. aw…

_(A/N: this is similar to the conversation that Lupine and I had when I bought the armor XD (I represent Link and she represents Midna)I was so unbelievably pissed! We were done with the game, had beat it countless times, but each time we had never bought the Golden Armor… and so we spent about an entire night collecting random rupees…)_

Majora's Mask: The Pedophile in the Observatory

_**Deku Link: **_*after a perilous hours upon hours of running around with his stubby little legs (which is like… what… twenty minutes minimum for us with our playtime?), he makes it to the base of the childish little gang… the observatory*

_**Pedophile in a Wizard Coat:**_ Well hello there little boy. You seem to have better manners then the last one… would you like to take a look at my telescope?

_**Deku Link: **_…

_**Pedophile-Wannabe-Wizard: **_Come on, it'll be fun. Just take a look at my telescope!

_**Deku Link: **_*backs away, slowly but surely*

_**Pedophile-Wannabe-Wizard: **_Well if you won't look then go get little Jimmy, he loves looking at my telescope.

Majora's Mask: "Don't make me slap you with my pimp hand!"- W.L.'s friend

_**Deku Link:**_ *after being violated by Skull Kid and turned into a stubby-legged tree, he runs over the wee pond and goes into hot pursuit, chasing with all his life to sa-… and then he gets pimp slapped by a fairy…*

_**Tatl: **_*growls*

_**Deku Link: **_*angered by being distracted and having lost his target, he stands back up from the ground, but before he can utter a word…*

_**Tatl: **_*flustered that she wasted her time on pimp slapping the walking tree and lost sight of her brother, she turns back to the tree… errr… Link* This is all your fault! If you weren't here the-

_**Deku Link: **_Excuuuuuuse me? Oh b!# *, please! They're probably glad to get rid of your sorry a$- *he gets cut off, receiving yet another pimp slap*

_**Tatl: **_Why I never…. *growls once more* don't make me slap you with my pimp hand again!

_**Deku Link: **_*entirely annoyed at the stupid, snotty little fairy he results to a spell of silence and glares until he remembers about his reason on taking on this journey…* Do you happen to know a fairy named Navi?

_**Tatl:**_ What kind of name is Navi?! Is that your girlfriend? *pimp slaps*

Majora's Mask: That Bleeping Dog

_**Deku Link: **_*just minding his own business when BAM, hit by a dog… just got pawned*

**~An "Oldie" Scene/Player's Corner (one of our faves from the chapter)~**

Skyward Sword: I Need An Adult!

_**Ghirahim:**_ *licks Link*

_**Link: **_*screams* RAPE raaaaape, I need an adult, raaaape!

_**Ghirahim:**_ *stops licking Link* What do I look like to you, a fabulous stripping Debbie?

_**Link: **_I need another adult!

_**Tingle: **_Fairy boy-!

_**Link: **_Aklsdhf;weijnkljdsf! Rape! I need a different adult!

_**Ghirahim:**_ *evidentally hurt by Link's accusation of him not being adult…* Well then… next time I meet you, Sky Child, I will deafen you with your own screams.

_**Link: **__'He's kinky too…'_

_**Zant: **_Where's the rope?

_**Ghirahim: **_Oh. My. Master. Wha-you-your not even in this game! Neither is that ugly man flea who dresses in green tights, seriously green is way out of season… *glances at Link* but looks good on you Sky Child…. Anyway! You aren't even in this game, GET OUT!

*note, fans of Ghirahim called him the fabulous Debbie before the game was finished and was able to buy and etc.*

* * *

**Fun Fact(s): **

**WolfsLegend has never gotten caught by a Redead in Twilight Princess or any other Legend of Zelda game except Wind Waker (it was one time man, ONE TIME… and it scared me for dear life (I didn't know what they were and it was the first time I had seen a Redead… I nearly died when it screamed at me)). **

**You can easily show what we've been playing recently... we're trying to stop that XD Besides, I really need to start playing more LoZ games besides Majora's Mask and Twilight Princess (I'm not a big fan of the DS LoZ games right now, I have Spirit Tracks and Phantom Hourglass- Wolfs). **


End file.
